Saturday, December 10, 2011


An interesting tidbit of information to close out our seven-day spotlight of the latest Bif Bang Pow! Twilight Zone merchandise... it seems their Clown action figure (from "Five Characters in Search of an Exit"), due out in May 2012, has been delayed. An entirely new (and unexpected) figure has replaced it in the lineup: Cyclops, the gigantic inflatable fake alien from season five's "The Fear."

I'm sorry... how's that?

I'm taking this as bad news. "The Fear" is a third-rate episode with a fourth-rate "alien." It's basically an astronaut with an oversized eyeball for a head. Well, that's what it looks like; in actuality it's A FUCKING PARADE BALLOON. Have a look:

God, what a retarded monstrosity. All the iconic TZ characters that they haven't touched yet, and they choose THIS? Ugh. Well... who knows, maybe I'll end up loving it. Bif Bang Pow! does have a history of making excellent action figures out of characters that I hate. But it needs to be said: this is the single most confounding choice they've made yet. I just don't get it.

Here's my concern: we're heading into the 4th year of Bif Bang Pow!'s TZ line. By my count, only three TZ items have sold out, and all of them are bobbleheads. This means that EVERY SINGLE TZ action figure is still available and easily obtained. I'll take that to mean that sales haven't been exactly brisk. I'll extrapolate a bit further and speculate that, eventually, the line will peter out due to underwhelming sales. The Twilight Zone isn't Star Wars, or Star Trek, or even fucking Doctor Who... the built-in fan base tends toward older men who don't buy action figures (I'm, ahem, an exception). This can't last forever. Given this, it seems like maybe they'd front-load the line with important, iconic characters. As great as their respective figures turned out, nobody was clamoring for Jason Foster or The Three-Eyed Venusian. Where's Anthony Fremont? Where's Marsha the Mannequin? Where's Robby the Robot, who appeared in two different episodes with two different heads? Nowhere, because we're getting Cyclops.

I'm a bit deflated by this news.

I know what you're thinking. If the prospect of a Cyclops figure doesn't interest me, I could just opt to not buy it...right? Wrong! Because Entertainment Earth only sells the figures in pairs, and since it's paired with Alicia (from "The Lonely"), one my most wanted figures... well, do the math. I'm gonna end up with Cyclops whether I want it or not. The preorder page over at Entertainment Earth has been revised to include Cyclops... but the figure itself isn't shown (yet). Gee, can't wait.

The general consensus (aka unsubstantiated rumor) regarding the Clown, by the way, is that he's being held back for inclusion in a multi-pack of all five of the "Five Characters in Search of an Exit" gang (Army Major, Hobo, Bagpiper, and Ballet Dancer round out the bunch). Time will tell.


Joel Benedict Henderson said...

I feel your pain, Craig. I feel your pain.

Seriously they should have just given us a Janet Tyler figure instead of this proportionately innacurate (considering the Alien Cyclopses are actually smaller than The Invaders when not employing their Macy's Thanksiving Day Parade reject!) representative of a terrible, forgettable episode.

...Actually you know what, they should have paired this with Floyd Burney.

Craig Beam said...

Hey, I could've used a Floyd Burney to make a custom Bing Crosby figure... Gary looked enough like his old man.

Anonymous said...

Yes those crazy stars, oh so many light years feet firmly stuck to this planet, only dreams escape.