Showing posts with label Don Keefer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Don Keefer. Show all posts

Friday, February 14, 2014

Episode Spotlight: "From Agnes - With Love" (2/14/1964)




Season 5, Episode 20 (140 overall)
Originally aired 2/14/1964
Cayuga Production # 2629


50 years ago tonight, The Twilight Zone presented a love-themed tale for Valentine’s Day. Unfortunately, it’s the equivalent of handing your sweetheart a box of shit instead of chocolates.


“From Agnes – With Love” starts somewhat promisingly: Agnes, the world’s most advanced supercomputer, is in complete disarray, and Fred Danziger, the programmer assigned to maintain her, has gone off the deep end. Fellow programmer and über-nerd James Elwood is called in to take charge of the situation. And it’s here, roughly 57 seconds in, that things go straight to hell in a painfully sharp vertical drop… unless you’re a big Wally Cox fan, that is. I am not. He is so horrendously annoying that, before the prologue ends, he’s already managed to displace James B.W. Bevis as the single most irritating character in the entire series.

OBNOXIOMETER™

Agnes begins coaching Elwood on wooing Millie, a coworker he’s crushing on. However, it becomes apparent very quickly (well, to us anyway) that Agnes is actively undermining his attempts by giving him bad advice. However, the oblivious and socially awkward Elwood somehow still manages to get Millie into his apartment, where she kills the lights and cuddles up to him… but of course he cluelessly fucks it up. Of course he does.





Agnes then instructs Elwood to introduce Millie to an “inferior” male in order to repair things. That “inferior” male is Walter Holmes, another programmer who would probably give Don Draper some serious competition in the bedding-all-the-ladies-in-the-office-pool department. Of course Millie immediately falls for him, and Elwood’s chances--- slim as they may have been--- are completely dashed. Of course they are.



“What did I ever do to you?” Elwood demands of Agnes, who reveals that there’s a better woman available to him: her! Elwood’s already-frazzled mind comes completely unhinged, forcing his supervisor to bring in yet another replacement: Walter Holmes. Repeat cycle ad infinitum.



“From Agnes – With Love” is the single worst episode of the fifth season. It’s not quite the worst of the entire series, but it resides squarely near the bottom of the barrel with other failures like “Mr. Bevis” and “Four O’clock.” It’s just awful. Stupid. Pointless. I could go on hurling negative adjectives at it for several paragraphs, but my goal is to waste as little time as I can on this (I’m already close to 400 words). 






So when we boil it all down, we have a supercomputer meddling in the lives of humans. Sound familiar? It should. We just saw this a few months ago in “The Old Man in the Cave.” I deemed that episode mediocre at best but, compared to this dreck, it suddenly looks like first season quality. 




Season five is peppered with man vs. technology stories beyond the two already mentioned. “Steel” and “The Brain Center at Whipple’s” are variations on this theme, as are (less obviously) “Uncle Simon” and “Number 12 Looks Just Like You.” Five different writers are responsible for these six scripts, so it’s not a simple matter of Serling going overboard with the self-borrowing. It seems that, at least around Cayuga’s offices, man’s relative lack of control over his own technology was a very real concern. And it’s certainly a marvelous topic for exploration… it’s unfortunate that, more often than not, this potential is squandered by lazy, half-baked teleplays.


THE MUSIC



“From Agnes – With Love” inexplicably was deemed worthy of an original musical score, so Nathan Van Cleave was brought in. Van Cleave can usually be counted on for greatness (“Perchance to Dream”; “The Midnight Sun”), but there’s nothing of value here--- just more comedic crap along the lines of Fred Steiner’s “The Bard” or Van Cleave’s own “A Kind of a Stopwatch” from earlier this season. Like all fifth season original scores, it’s never had a soundtrack release; however, unlike most of them, it’s NOT available as an isolated track on the DVD and blu-ray releases (just like his “Black Leather Jackets” two weeks ago). This means the only way to listen to Van Cleave’s score (if you wanted to, that is) is to watch the episode. No thanks.


FAMILIAR FACES


An actor like Wally Cox isn’t likely to have much in the way of sci-fi/horror/fantasy on his résumé, but Cox actually surprises with stints on Lost in Space (“The Forbidden World”) and Kolchak: the Night Stalker (“The Night Strangler”). Cox would cross paths with Rod Serling again in 1971 on Night Gallery (“Junior”).







Ralph Taeger (Don Drap--- er, Walter Holmes) may have gotten this gig based on his past work with director Richard Donner, whose 1961 film X-15 he co-starred in (along with TZ alums Charles Bronson and James Gregory). If the lovely Sue Randall (here playing Millie) looks familiar, it’s because we met her in season one’s “And When the Sky Was Opened” (incidentally the episode I attribute to making me a lifelong fan) playing a nurse. Is she a TZ Babe? Why yes, I’d say so.



Elwood’s unnamed supervisor is played by three-time TZ alum Raymond Bailey (we saw him previously in season one’s “Escape Clause” and season two’s “Back There”). Bailey has another very dear connection for me: he had a minor role in Alfred Hitchcock’s 1958 masterpiece Vertigo (he played James Stewart’s doctor), which is my favorite film of all time. He also played doctors in 1957’s The Incredible Shrinking Man (written by frequent TZ scribe Richard Matheson) and 1958’s The Space Children (which was scored by--- yup, Nathan Van Cleave).




Don Keefer returns for his third and final Twilight Zone appearance (he was the travel agent in season four’s “Passage on the Lady Anne” and, more famously, the ill-fated Dan Hollis in season three’s “It’s a Good Life”). But his TZ connection goes even further back: he had a minor role in “The Time Element,” a 1958 production on Westinghouse Desilu Playhouse that was written by Rod Serling and is considered by many to be The Twilight Zone’s true pilot.


Nan Peterson plays an unnamed secretary in her third and final TZ appearance (she played two similarly unnamed characters in season one’s “Walking Distance” and season two’s “The Whole Truth”). Incidentally, “From Agnes – With Love” was her final acting gig… maybe she was sick of going nameless. If it makes her feel any better, she qualifies as a TZ Babe with ease.



“From Agnes – With Love” is directed by Richard Donner (yes, that Richard Donner), who should’ve known better even this early in his impressive career (The Omen, Superman, and five other TZ episodes: “Nightmare at 20,000 Feet,” “Sounds and Silences,” “The Jeopardy Room,” “The Brain Center at Whipple’s” and “Come Wander With Me,” all from this season).






With irredeemable crap like “From Agnes –With Love” being produced, even a diehard Twilight Zone fan like me is starting to look forward to the end. I get no pleasure out of saying that, but there you go. There are still a few decent efforts to come, but it’s mostly subpar from here on out. Gauge your expectations accordingly.



Next week:
Horseback chases! Time warps! Love triangles! Sounds awesome, right?  Um.... 




Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Special Report: "The Time Element"





We all know that The Twilight Zone debuted in 1959 with “Where Is Everybody?” However, if Rod Serling had had his way, the series would have premiered two years earlier as an hour show with an entirely different pilot. In 1957, he submitted a teleplay entitled “The Time Element” to CBS, hoping to launch the series.  CBS didn't bite on the series idea, but they did buy the script… but didn't produce it. It was finally produced by Westinghouse’s Desilu Playhouse and was broadcast on 11/24/1958 to surprise acclaim, leading CBS to realize that hey, maybe Serling’s kooky series idea might have legs after all. A little less than a year later, The Twilight Zone as we know it premiered.


“The Time Element” was something of a collector’s Holy Grail until 1996, when it was aired as part of the launch of Nickelodeon’s TV Land network. I eagerly videotaped it, but somehow misplaced it (or, more likely, unwittingly taped over it). Several years later (let’s say 2007 or so), I obtained a DVD-R copy of that same TV Land broadcast in a trade. Bootlegs and home-taped copies were finally rendered ob-so-lete when Image Entertainment included “The Time Element” in their Twilight Zone: Season 1 blu-ray set in 2010 (in glorious high definition, no less!), finally making it easy to acquire for TZ-obsessives like yours truly.


SPOILER ALERT!  Yeah, I’m gonna give the whole thing away. “The Time Element” concerns one Peter Jenson, who is visiting the office of psychiatrist Gillespie with an odd problem:  he’s been having the same recurring dream every night for the past week. In his dream (which are conveyed to us via flashback scenes), he wakes up with a hangover in a Honolulu hotel room on December 6, 1941.  At first he assumes that some elaborate gag is being played on him (don’t they always?), but gradually comes to accept that he is indeed back in time… the day before the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor, of all days. He hits the bar for a drink (he does a lot of drinking throughout, actually) and makes the acquaintance of the Janoskis, a young naval ensign and his new bride.  



What does he do next? In his own words: “I spent the next two-and-a-half hours in a kind of paradise, making bets on sure things. Every race, every prize fight, every football game I could remember happening after December of 1941.  I got it figured it out that if this crazy stuff goes on at least six more months, I’m a shoo-in to collect about $464,000.00 from half a dozen soon-to-be impoverished bookies. I don’t have one idea what I’m doing back here, but as long as I’m back I figure I’ll put it all to good use.”  Yup, that’s what he does first.  It won’t occur to him until later that maybe he should alert somebody to tomorrow’s attack. It’s about here that I went from finding Jenson merely annoying to actively hating him.

When Jenson finally decides to make a concerted effort to warn somebody, he chooses the editor of the local newspaper, which is just plain moronic.  What newspaper editor is going to splash such a crazy story across the evening edition with virtually nothing to go on but the ravings of a boorish lout?  Jenson’s idiocy doesn't stop there.  He’s now accepted that he really is back in time (dream or not), yet he can’t fathom why the people around him don’t know that Harry S. Truman will assume the presidency when FDR dies… in their future, which of course they wouldn't have knowledge of.  He then launches into the following: “You guys know what a Sputnik is?  Rock and roll?  A jet stream? Rocky Marciano? Atomic subs? The Los Angeles Dodgers?”  Newspaper reporter Hannify observes moments later that “there’s nothing insane about that man.”  Maybe not, but he’s certainly a stone cold moron.



Speaking of Hannify, there’s a bizarre bit of business in the very next scene: a doctor (who evidently makes house calls to newspaper offices) discovers a drawing that Hannify has made (while listening to Jenson’s story) of a Japanese plane dropping a bomb on an aircraft carrier. “They’re just doodles,” says Hannify nervously. “You’d better watch yourself or I’ll be putting you under a light,” smiles the doctor ominously.  Hannify smiles queasily and leaves the room, leaving the doctor to crumple the drawing and drop it into a wastebasket with a hostile look on his face.  It’s an enigmatic moment implying conspiracy and intrigue (which frankly might’ve led to something interesting), but it never goes anywhere.


The third act opens with more narration from Jenson: “The best laid plans of mice and men, and Peter Jenson (a line Serling would reuse, substituting Henry Bemis’ name, in TZ’s “Time Enough at Last”). I just struck a blow for law and order and missed. So what’s left to do?  Simple: nothin’. Just sit in a bar feeling that kind of sweet, sad glow that comes with realizing that most people aren't as bright as you are” (so he IS delusional after all, it seems).  He rants and raves at length (he even sings songs about Pearl Harbor that haven’t been written yet!), at which point the hotel patrons finally get fed up with his antics (he ends up getting decked by both Janoski and the bartender in the same scene!).  He slumps unconscious against the bar’s jukebox, and wakes up the next morning back in his hotel room.  He hears the sound of approaching planes and looks fearfully out the window.  Several Japanese aircraft are closing in, and it is here that the dream abruptly ends.



Dr. Gillespie tries to explain the nature of dreams to Jenson, and to assure him that he wasn’t really back in time.  Jenson tells him that he managed to track down Janoski’s mother, who told him that her son and his new bride were killed at Pearl Harbor, proving that they aren't just imagined dream figures, and that he really is traveling backward in time every night. 




Jenson then falls asleep on the couch, at which point we are treated to a montage of scenes that we've already seen (representing that he is having the usual dream, which is just blatant padding; admittedly, the visual device used is kinda cool, but still). However, this time the dream has a bit more at the end:  Jenson is riddled with bullets from the attacking planes, and he falls dead to the floor.




Gillespie finds himself sitting alone in his office.  He is disturbed by something, but isn't sure what it is.  He flips open his secretary’s appointment book, which pointedly indicates that he has no patients today.  He goes to a local bar and sees a photograph of Jenson.  The bartender tells him that Jenson used to tend bar there, but he was killed… yup, you guessed it, at Pearl Fucking Harbor.




Okay, seriously, what the hell?  What was the point of all this?  So we have a guy who travels back in time every night for an entire week (how this is accomplished is never explained), for the express purpose of…. well, dying earlier than he otherwise would have, an alteration of history hat apparently results in no perceptible effect on said history (no ripple effect here to be found here, folks). Now, I’m fine with time paradoxes, and I don’t always need things to make perfect sense (I really enjoyed last year’s Looper, for example), but this is just bullshit.  We've just spent an hour watching what amounts to absolutely nothing, which I could at least accept if the hour had been enjoyable. No such luck.


Ugh. Anyway, after the shocking ending (“shocking” in this case being a synonym for “stupid and insulting”), we’re treated to a few minutes of host Desi Arnaz Jr. offering his own “rational” explanation for the incongruous events we've just witnessed, after which he proceeds to hawk a new Westinghouse refrigerator and banter briefly with wife Lucille Ball. Easily the hour’s most entertaining five minutes.




While “The Time Element” doesn't really feel like a Twilight Zone episode, it does contain a number of, er, elements that would pop up on the series: we have a man traveling through time with warnings of imminent disaster (“No Time like the Past”), flashbacks framed within a psychiatric evaluation (“Perchance to Dream”), the use of supernatural gifts for financial gain through gambling (“A Most Unusual Camera,” “The Prime Mover”), and of course unnatural character dialogue (as is the case in most of Serling’s 91 TZ scripts).  Unfortunately, familiarity doesn't equate to quality: it’s as if all the pieces are there but the center is missing, which unfortunately wrecks the whole thing (I’m reminded of a Hostess cupcake I had many years ago which inexplicably had no cream filling).  Further, “The Time Element” is stagey, visually unimaginative, and way too long (interestingly, Serling’s original script was 30 minutes long, but he expanded it to an hour before submitting it to CBS; sound familiar, season 4?). It’s laboriously slow, almost to the point of bludgeoning its audience every time a new piece of information surfaces.


But the single worst part of “The Time Element” has got to be William Bendix, in the lead as Peter Jenson.  I’ve never been a fan, but I've never found him quite as offensive as he is here (which is due, in part I suppose, to Serling’s script). Jenson is an obnoxious bully (he threatens three different people with violence with little to no provocation, and is constantly berating and belittling everyone he speaks to). Why he’s experiencing his apparent time-traveling is anybody’s guess but, no matter what the reason is, it’s impossible to sympathize with his plight or care about his fate.



Dr. Gillespie is played by Martin Balsam, a warm and beloved TZ face (“The Sixteen Millimeter Shrine,” “The New Exhibit”) who may be best remembered as Norman/Norma Bates’ second victim (well, second onscreen victim anyway) in Alfred Hitchcock’s 1962 chiller Psycho.




Hannify, the newspaper reporter, is essayed by Don Keefer, whom we all know and love from his role as Dan Hollis in season three’s “It’s A Good Life.” We also saw him recently in “Passage on the Lady Anne,” and we’ll see him again in season five’s “From Agnes, With Love.”






“The Time Element” features two bartenders in two different time periods, and both are TZ veterans. The bartender in 1941 (who has the pleasure of knocking Jenson out) is played by Jesse White (“Cavender Is Coming,” “Once Upon a Time”), and the 1958 bartender is played by Paul Bryar (“And When the Sky Was Opened,” “He’s Alive”).






Carolyn Kearney is fresh and sparkly as new bride Mrs. Janoski, and if this were a true Twilight Zone episode, she’d be an automatic TZ Babe. We’ll see her again in season five’s “Ninety Years without Slumbering” (which I guess qualifies her after all!). Her husband, the J. Crew catalog-ready Ensign Janoski, is played by Darryl Hickman, who never appeared on The Twilight Zone but did pop up on Alfred Hitchcock Presents (“Heart of Gold”).






The newspaper editor, Mr. Gibbons, is played by Bartlett Robinson (“Back There,” “To Serve Man”). Alan Baxter, who plays the inappropriately conspiratorial doctor, never appeared on The Twilight Zone, but he did pop up on The Outer Limits (in the appropriately conspiratorial “O.B.I.T.”).




I wrote a teleplay my freshman year of high school called “Circa 1975,” concerning a lowly drunk who inexplicably wakes up eleven years in his own past and seizes the opportunity to stop his (then) fiance from dying in a car accident, thereby changing the downward course of his life.  It was my first attempt (of many, actually) to write a TZ-type script (I’d just discovered the series a couple of years earlier). I wouldn't see “The Time Element” for over a decade; however, both the core story and the lead character (who is quite similar to the boorish Jenson) are quite similar.  And hey, not to toot my own horn or anything, but my story had the courtesy to provide a reason for the time travel, and featured a happy ending to boot.  Interestingly, my story also included lots of uncomfortably awkward dialogue, so maybe I was more like Serling than I thought.





Somewhere deep in the recesses of my storage unit are three 27 year-old Super 8 film cartridges, exposed but never developed, mummified in their original boxes with masking tape.  On these cartridges is silent footage from 1986 (shot by me) of my friends (Donovan Littlejohn and David Beeson; ‘sup fellas?) acting out scenes from “Circa 1975” as a test for an ambitious student film project called The Kaleidoscope (a TZ knockoff which never materialized). Apparently the chemicals needed to process Kodachrome film are no longer made (the format was pronounced dead in 2010), so I guess the footage will never be seen.









In the final analysis (well, mine anyway), “The Time Element” is little more than a historical curiosity. I can appreciate its existence, since my favorite TV series of all time probably wouldn't have existed without it, but I sure as hell don’t like it. It’s uninvolving, abrasive and ultimately pointless. Had Jenson somehow saved the young Janoski couple through his time traveling (and subsequent death), there would have been a cosmic reason behind the proceedings, and his character could have been at least partially redeemed in the process. As written and presented, however, “The Time Element” lacks a corresponding human element that just might have saved it.



Thursday, May 9, 2013

TZ Promo: "Passage on The Lady Anne" (5/09/1963)





Season 4, Episode 17 (#119 overall)
Cayuga Production # 4869
Originally aired May 9, 1963




Ah, that thin line between love and hate.



50 years ago tonight, a couple suffering a disintegrating marriage quarreled and bickered their way onto the Lady Anne, a British cruise ship on its final voyage. What awaits them out on that open sea?  Reconciliation?  Death?  An iceberg??? 


I'm really sorry for this, folks.


Allan and Eileen Ransome snip at one another viciously, their exchanges bristling with resentment. Their mutual tension hangs in the air almost as palpably thick as the fog that perpetually engulfs the ship. Still, we see brief glimpses of affection; clearly love still exists beneath the bitterness (or at the very least lust: check out time stamp 14:10 to see Eileen bending over to look into a vanity mirror, and Allan blatantly checking out her ass).




The Lady Anne was, in its heyday, a luxury liner catering to young lovers. The Ransomes are surprised to discover that everyone else on the ship is at least 75 years of age, and all of them were married on the Lady Anne, and are on board to celebrate the old girl’s legacy on her final expedition before being decommissioned. Some are traveling alone, having already lost their partners, but all are united in their passionate devotion to the ship. 



The passengers initially object to the Ransomes’ presence, viewing them as interlopers, but they soon warm up to the young couple and (subtly) encourage reconciliation. The Ransomes submit to the Lady Anne’s romantic spell in fairly short order, and all seems well… until Allan notices that they’re sailing away from their destination. The engines abruptly stop, a pistol is drawn, and it becomes pretty goddamned evident that something is amiss.




On the surface, it appears that the Ransomes have stumbled innocently (and quite accidentally) into/under the Lady Anne’s enchantment; however, upon analysis it’s clear that they’re being maneuvered at every turn.  The events that unfold, along with the people they encounter, form a design that seems geared specifically toward saving their marriage. Said design seems to require repeated attempts by multiple characters to steer them away from the cruise, which invariably results in the Ransomes rebuffing them and barreling ahead with increased resolve (their mutual stubbornness is likely why they’re still together after six years of apparent misery). 



In other words, pushing them away only serves to draw them in further, a kind of reverse psychology approach, and virtually everyone in the episode, including the prologue’s travel agent, seems to be in on it… but whose design is this?  I get the how, I get the why…. I’m haunted by the who. Maybe it’s God, maybe it’s Cupid, or maybe it’s the spirit of the Lady Anne herself. And hey, maybe I’m overthinking this. Part of The Twilight Zone’s appeal, after all, is that element of the unresolved, the unexplained. 





The Lady Anne herself is a marvelous construct, a ridiculously ornate relic from an earlier time (it was a relic in 1963, so it’s even more so now). She’s spoken of so lovingly by her passengers, and what we see of her is so lavish and detailed (not to mention that sumptuous fog always swirling about her), that it’s difficult not to view her as a living, breathing character in the proceedings.




“Passage on the Lady Anne” feels at times like early Hitchcock (The Lady Vanishes and Suspicion come to mind), not in plot but tone. It’s a charming mystery, gentle and sophisticated (and veddy British), lightly sprinkled with bits of suspense throughout. It never really feels like a Twilight Zone, but that’s not necessarily a strike against it.  It’s a bit slow and overlong (a hallmark of most season four episodes), but our patience is rewarded with an absolutely delightful cast (Wilfrid Hyde-White in particular). It’s easy to spend an hour with this group, and most of their faces should be quite familiar to genre fans.




Lee Philips (Allan Ransome) stops by for his first TZ role; we’ll also see him next season in “Queen of the Nile.” Phillips also appeared in the pilot episode of The Outer Limits (“The Galaxy Being”) as radio-deejay Gene “Buddy” Maxwell.



Joyce Van Patten is quite good as Eileen Ransome in her only TZ appearance, but she was also seen on The Outer Limits (“A Feasibility Study”) the following year. I’m gonna go ahead and call her a TZ babe: she’s sufficiently attractive (and, um, sufficiently buxom as well), and she possesses a certain spark that I find quite endearing. It’s interesting to note that she was briefly married to TZ alum Martin Balsam (1958-1962).



This is Wilfrid Hyde-White’s only Twilight Zone appearance (as Toby McKenzie). I’m mentioning him because last week’s episode co-starred Tim O’Connor, who would go on to co-star on TV’s Buck Rogers in the 25th Century, a series which also featured Hyde-White (as Dr. Goodfellow). He’s also a supporting character in one of my all-time favorite films, 1949’s The Third Man.





Gladys Cooper (Millie McKenzie) previously appeared in “Nothing in the Dark,” and will appear again in season five’s “Night Call.” She also visited The Outer Limits as a medium-slash-con-artist in “The Borderland.”



Cecil Kellaway (Burgess) previously entertained us in season one’s “Elegy” as the murderous android Jeremy Wickwire. Cyril Delevanti shows up as an unnamed officer (brandishing a pistol, no less!) in this, his fourth and final TZ appearance (he previously graced “A Penny for Your Thoughts,” “The Silence,” and “A Piano in the House”). Alan Napier (Capt. Protheroe) only appeared on TZ this one time, but he subsequently showed up on Serling’s Night Gallery three different times. He’s probably best remembered as Alfred the butler on TV’s Batman



Mr. Spiereto, the travel agent who books the Ransomes on their trip, is played by Don Keefer. Keefer holds a special place in the pantheon of TZ alumni: he played Dan Hollis in season three’s “It’s a Good Life,” in which Anthony Freemont turned him in to a human jack-in-the-box before wishing him away into the cornfield. Happily, he's much less slobbery this time around. He’ll swing through The Twilight Zone one more time, in season five’s “From Agnes, With Love.”




“Passage on the Lady Anne” features an original musical score by Rene Garriguenc (one of four he would ultimately contribute to the series). There’s nothing really memorable here, but it does fit the proceedings (the underscore is a bit old-timey and melodramatic, which is totally appropriate).  Garriguenc’s score is isolated on both DVD releases (volume 40 and the season 4 Definitive Edition set) and the more recent blu-ray release of season 4, so you know where to go if you need music for your next Murder Mystery Party.



“Passage on the Lady Anne” is the final Twilight Zone episode written by Charles Beaumont (he adapted his 1960 short story “Song for a Lady”).  There will be three episodes in season five credited to him, but his involvement with them will be peripheral at best (ghostwriters will pen the actual teleplays, as we saw recently with “The New Exhibit” and season three’s “Dead Man’s Shoes”).  Interestingly, all three will be among the better offerings of the series’ final, wildly uneven season.



In two weeks: 
Bo ‘Bandit’ Darville tries to find his tertiary motivation and ends up getting decked by William Shakespeare.
Don’t believe me?  Tune in.