Meet Mr. Bacon. I found him in my stocking this past Christmas, after which I spirited him off to my work cubicle, where he’s been my loyal friend ever since. At first he just stood there, watching my every move. Lately, however, he’s been keeping himself busy by… well, taking on other personalities.
I've gotta talk to him about the smoking. I mean, he's Mr. Bacon. Isn't he already smoky enough?