Bill, That's a REAL Good Thing You Did....

Check out the birthday card (I'm turning 40 tomorrow) that arrived in the mail today from my good friend Bill Huelbig. It's one of those awesome musical customizable cards available from Hallmark (previously spotlighted here).

The front:

Inside:

The back:

Gotta love the "Perchance to Dream" reference, not to mention the "It's a Good Life" vibe running throughout. Bill is every bit as obsessed with The Twilight Zone as I am, and that's a good thing... that's a REAL good thing. Thanks Bill!

The Blu Zone

The following information is a rumor, and should be taken as such. However, it comes from the venerable tvshowsondvd.com, so it carries a bit more weight than, say, some random post on some random web forum.


"Here's a little holiday treat for our readers in the US, and a special Thursday surprise for everyone else; one of our trusted sources has let us know that Image Entertainment has begun prepping The Twilight Zone for release on Blu-ray later in 2010. Those following the releases of the series may recall the "Definitive Edition" releases back in 2004/2005 were restored, and HD transfers were created. This release would mark the oldest series to receive the Blu-ray treatment, and serves as a reminder that it's not just new shows that can look great in HD.

While we haven't received any confirmation from the studio, we're fairly certain the information from our source is correct. Image Entertainment is giving classic TV fans a lot to be thankful for in 2010, first with the release of Thriller starring Boris Karloff, and now the rumored release of The Twilight Zone on Blu-ray."


The existing Definitive Edition DVDs are glorious, with pristine transfers and clear sound (not to mention copious extras). But I will ABSOLUTELY upgrade to blu-ray. Fingers and toes are duly crossed that this is more than a rumor....

Source

Thanksgiving, TZ-style

My wife's favorite television show of all time is Friends. A few years back, I bought her the entire 9 (or is it 10?) season complete deluxe fancy-schmancy DVD boxed set. Guess how many times she's cracked it open. ZERO. She'd simply rather watch the show on TV, where it airs several times a day in perpetual reruns, which frankly dumbfounds me. I haven't watched The Twilight Zone on TV in…. Christ, it must be twenty years or so now. I won't recount the history of the various formats upon which I've owned the series (you can find that here), but in any case, I haven't needed to or, more importantly, wanted to watch the show on TV. There are commercials. Lots and lots of commercials. Worse yet, the episodes are shortened, often by several minutes, to make room for said commercials. It's butchery! It's tantamount to the defacing of art, and I'll have none of it. If I'm browsing through the channel guide and I see that The Twilight Zone is on, I'll switch over to it, only for a second, to see how quickly I can name the episode (and yes, before you ask, I'm always right). I never leave it on. I'm not supporting syndication cuts, and I've never been tempted to.

It seems KTLA is doing their annual Thanksgiving Day Twilight Zone marathon tomorrow. I don't find the marathon itself very enticing (they're showing "Mr. Dingle, the Strong," for god's sake). But dear god, look at this promo video!

Hmmm.... Blogger compresses it pretty heavily. For a much higher quality version, go here.

Wow, that video is a thing of jaw-dropping beauty. I've watched it probably 30 times in the last few days. You know that ugly montage of clips created for the Columbia House VHS tapes, and (unfortunately) later used on the Definitive Edition DVDs? This thing has it beat by a mile. There are also several shorter, episode-specific promos (as of this writing, only one of them has been uploaded to You Tube ("Nick of Time," see it here)… hopefully they'll all get uploaded for those of us who don't get KTLA. The guy who created these clips (I know him only as "Goonie") is a genius. I fancy myself a bit of a video-montage magician, but there's no way in hell I can match this guy's artistry. Oh, and incidentally, the guy doing the Serling voice is the same guy who voiced the Twilight Zone Tower of Terror ride at Disneyland.

Here's the list of episodes KTLA is showing this year:

9:00 a.m. - "Time Enough At Last
9:30 a.m. - "A Kind of Stopwatch"
10:00 a.m. - "A Penny For Your Thoughts"
10:30 a.m. - "Nick of Time"
11:00 a.m. - "Will the Real Martian Please Stand Up?"
11:30 a.m. - "Mr. Dingle, The Strong"
12:00 p.m. - "The Little People"
12:30 p.m. - "The Odyssey of Flight 33"
1:00 p.m. - "In His Image"
2:00 p.m. - "The Mighty Casey"
2:30 p.m. - "I Sing The Body Electric"
3:00 p.m. - "Long Distance Call"
3:30 p.m. - "Little Girl Lost"
4:00 p.m. - "Living Doll"
4:30 p.m. - "The Dummy"
5:00 p.m. - "The Trade-Ins"
5:30 p.m. - "The Eye Of The Beholder"

Several of the offerings are thematic pairs. Both "Time Enough at Last" and "A Kind of Stopwatch" feature… well, watches. "A Penny for Your Thoughts" and "Nick of Time" both feature… well, pennies. "Will the Real Martian Please Stand Up?" and "Mr. Dingle, the Strong" both feature… well, Martians. And then it gets arbitrary for a while, but then we're back to thematic pairs at the end. "Living Doll" and the "The Dummy" both feature… well, dolls. "The Trade-Ins" and "The Eye of the Beholder" both feature… well, attempted body modification. I wonder if all this thematic matching was intentional…

I've gotta admit, I'm not entirely thrilled with KTLA's choices. You've got nine hours. Don't waste your viewers' time with "A Kind of Stopwatch," "The Mighty Casey" and (horrors!) "Mr. Dingle, the Strong." Where's "The Obsolete Man," for god's sake? How about "Third from the Sun," or maybe "Death Ship"? I'd be a bit more forgiving if the marathon was longer, but sheesh. Some really questionable choices in there.

But---- oh well. I won't be watching it, unless my cable provider suddenly adds KTLA. And I'd really only be watching it for those cool Goonie promos.

Dissecting “Time Enough at Last”

A variety of factors prevented me from watching "Time Enough at Last" Friday night as scheduled…. I didn't get to it till late last night (Sunday). I've had most of the day to mull it over, and I think I'm prepared to tackle this beast head on. As I mentioned previously (in Friday's "promo" post), I can't deny this episode's iconic status. Among the 156 episodes that make up The Twilight Zone, it's among the best remembered, the most beloved. I've remembered it well enough over the years, but I can't bring myself to love it. I have some, shall we say, issues with it. I'm going to assume that anyone reading this has seen the episode, so I won't bother with a synopsis of the plot.

First, the positives. It's well directed (by John Brahm, who would go on to direct a total of 12 episodes, more than any other director). It's well shot (by George T. Clemens, a.s.c.). The sets are undeniably impressive (the smoldering cityscape wreckage, the library ruins). It's certainly a visual treat, and provides many frankly unforgettable images.

So what's my problem? First, the characters. I don't give a damn about any of them. We're supposed to sympathize with the Burgess Meredith character, but for the life of me I can't figure out why. Here's a guy who is so obsessive about reading that he's blind to everything else around him. He hides a copy of David Copperfield on his lap and reads from it while counting out money to a customer (he's a bank teller), short-changes her, then drones on about his book without noticing that she's walked away. Christ, man, snap out of it and do your job! It's hard to get too upset with his boss for chewing him out… I'd be chewing him out too. And okay, we can all agree that the wife is an uber-bitch, so maybe on that front it's impossible not to sympathize with him a bit. But hell, he married her, didn't he? If he's not going to stand up to her, then he gets what he gets.

Meredith's performance doesn't help matters either. I'm usually a fan of his work, but this particular performance bugs me (though not as much as his work in season two's "Mr. Dingle, the Strong," an episode which I liken to a barbed-wire root canal). He doesn't draw me in; quite the opposite: he repels me, and it's not just those coke-bottle glasses either. He's annoying, self-absorbed, and idiosyncratic to a fault, as if he's suffering from some mild form of asperger's syndrome.

A couple of logic problems plague the episode. First, our unfortunate hero finds a pistol in a shattered display case from a sporting goods store. And yeah, it's fucking loaded. I'm pretty sure that even in 1959 the guns didn't come pre-loaded. Second (and much more significant), our hero wanders around for two days in the radioactive ruins of his bomb-blasted city, unaffected. Surely he'd suffer from massive radiation poisoning, but he trots merrily along, seemingly unaffected. It seems the hydrogen bomb in this particular alternate universe merely scorches things and knocks buildings over.

After all that (as if "all that" weren't enough), my single biggest problem with the episode is the cruelty with which the protagonist is ultimately dispatched. He discovers the ruins of the local library, gathers up enough books to last him for years, and then…. his glasses get broken. The tragedy isn't limited to the loss of a lifetime of literary joy. We've already seen how bad his eyesight is without them, thanks to a clever POV shot earlier. He's not going to make it off those library steps without falling and cracking his skull and, even if he does, he'll never find his way back to the food supply he's squirreled away. The breaking of his glasses is quite literally a death sentence. And for what? Some vague commentary on the evils of nuclear arms? Jesus, give the guy radiation poisoning if that's your angle. No, this is something else altogether: it constitutes a writer's contempt for his or her protagonist on a quantum level. As annoying as I find him, he doesn't deserve this fate. If it's intended to be some sort of tragedy… well, good tragedy has a point. This…. well, this doesn't. So I guess I do sympathize with him after all, not because of the other characters, or the horrendous fate that befalls him. I sympathize with him because his creator, the writer, clearly hates him and seeks to torment him from start to finish.

It's not Serling's fault either. He didn't come up with this; he merely adapted an existing short story. Lynn A. Venable, the original author, is the one to blame. My God, what a toxic, pointless exercise.

One final note: I'm apparently not the only one to react this way to the episode. As recounted in The Twilight Zone: Unlocking the Door to a Television Classic (by Martin Grams, Jr.), Serling responded to an offended viewer's letter with the following: "We were attempting irony and in the view of many of the audience, we created only sadism."

Profile in Plastic, Part 2

Shockingly enough, it appears that people are actually reading this blog. As I write this, my counter stands at 320. Nothing impressive, but it seems the right people are reading it. Case in point: my post from last week, in which I mooned like a love-smitten teenage girl over the Twilight Zone bobble-heads and forthcoming action figures from Bif Bang Pow!, was read by none other than Jason Lab (which may or may not be a pseudonym for Jason Lenzi, the company's founder and CEO) from… you guessed it, Bif Bang Pow! Further, he responded to basically every point and question I brought up in that post, in a series of Twitter, um… Tweets, I guess they're called, all dated 11/20/2009:

* Great post Craig. Answers to follow... http://mylifeintheshadowoft...

* The Twilight Zone Mystic Seer and Invader bobbleheads were released on time at Comic-Con 2009, but quickly sold out.

* Re-orders of Mystic Seer and Invader arrived yesterday, and are now in stock and shipping at http://bit.ly/7XWm76

* Talky Tina had a slight delay, but is now finished and is on a boat from China to Los Angeles. Updated ETA is the second week of December.

* The next bobble head in the Twilight Zone line is...not ready to be announced yet, but I love the suggestions at http://bit.ly/4GelVd.

* Twilight Zone action figures will initially be in black and white. They will not be 12-inch. We can't reveal the actual size just yet.

* Rod Serling Twilight Zone action figures and bobble heads will not be made due to issues out of our control (not due to the sculpts).

* Everyone has their favorite Twilight Zone episodes and characters, including us. Production will be based on a few factors... including popularity, "coolness", top episodes, ability to sell units, the approval process, and a few other factors. We take suggestions!

First of all, I'm stunned and amazed that my post was addressed and responded to in such detail. So… thanks, Jason (sheesh, you linked back to my blog TWICE!). Second, I owe Bif Bang Pow! an apology for falsely assuming that their first two bobble-heads (The Invader and The Mystic Seer) were delayed. I guess I just missed 'em the first time around (I won't miss them again, damn it… I've already ordered two of each from Entertainment Earth). Third…

…I can't deny that I'm devastated that there won't be a Rod Serling bobble-head or action figure. I understand that it's out of their hands, and I'm sure they did everything they could to secure the rights. Why am I sure? Because in a post earlier this year (2/27/09 to be exact), Mr. Lenzi stated that "most exciting of all, for the first time, we'll be bringing the world 3D representations of the man himself, Rod Serling. Serling is one of my personal heroes, and I couldn't be more excited about this property." So it was clearly planned, and those plans fell through. CBS owns the rights to the show, but I assume Carol Serling (Serling's widow) owns his likeness rights and wouldn't grant Bif Bang Pow! permission. His face was used on a postage stamp; Christ, why not this? I dunno, maybe she wanted too much money...? I'm presuming she's the block; Jason, feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.

Fourth, I am DYING to see what the action figure line holds. And yes, I will buy every single Twilight Zone item Bif Bang Pow! releases.

I said before that Twitter is for teenagers, and I'll be 40 in 5 days. But you know what? I need TZ-related information as fast I can possibly get it. I may have to join the masses and start Tweetin'.

TZ Promo: “Time Enough At Last” (11/20/1959)

Time Magazine recently released a Top 10 Twilight Zone Episodes list, which can be viewed here. There's really no science or actual polling behind this list; rather, it appears to simply list ten of the most iconic, best-remembered episodes. We can debate the relative merits of such an approach (incidentally, only one of my top 10 favorites, "The Hitch-hiker," appears on Time's list), but what's the point? Most fans love all ten. I certainly do. Well… almost. There's one that I have serious issues with, and that episode is celebrating its fiftieth anniversary tonight.

Generally beloved by fans both casual and hardcore, and certainly well remembered (if for no other reason than it's shocking, ridiculously tragic ending), "Time Enough at Last" stars Burgess Meredith as Henry Bemis, a sad, henpecked son of a bitch who just wants to READ. Newspapers, books, poetry, ketchup bottles, whatever. Trouble is, everyone around him seems determined to stop him, relentlessly so. Then, a twist of fate (surprise, surprise) changes the game completely. And then another twist of fate…. well, surely you know how this ends. But if you don't, I'm not spoiling it. At least not until my next entry, in which I'll dissect the hell out of it and see if I hate it as much as I think I do.

Anyway --- the episode was written by Rod Serling (based on a short story by Lynn Venable), directed by John Brahm, and has spawned many media references and parodies over the years (including a very funny bit on The Drew Carey Show; it was also mentioned in Twilight Zone: The Movie, which I should probably do a spotlight on one of these days). The episode features an original musical score by Leith Stevens, who scored hundreds of radio shows, including episodes of Suspense and The Abbot and Costello Show. This was his sole contribution to The Twilight Zone.

Profile in Plastic

I'm not a teenager. Therefore, I don't Twitter. I've gotta draw the line somewhere. However, as I was browsing the Bif Bang Pow! blog, trying to find out why the hell their TZ bobbleheads keep getting delayed, I happened to glance at their Twitter posts, where I saw some rather exciting news:

"Got the approval from CBS to start making the next Twilight Zone bobble head. It's in the sculptor's hands now."

More bobbleheads! Hopefully they'll do a Kanamit from "To Serve Man," and/or the doctor from "Eye of the Beholder," and/or Alicia from "The Lonely" (maybe with a removable face), and/or Anthony Fremont from "It's a Good Life" (in all his bug-eyed glory) …. And of course, a Rod Serling bobblehead would be awesome. I'll take 'em all, and any others Bif Bang Pow! wants to make. I'd even buy those goofy aliens from "Mr. Dingle, the Strong," an episode which I thoroughly detest.

But wait! It doesn't stop there, folks:

"Also received approval to begin creating our Twilight Zone action figure line. More details will be revealed after prototypes are approved."

Oh my god. Twilight Zone action figures!!!!!! Hopefully they aren't the 12-inch doll variety (like Sideshow did several years back; I don't own any of them, but I'll do a pseudo-spotlight on them soon). I'm hoping for something in the 5-6" range, and hopefully they'll be painted in a black/white/gray scheme. They really shouldn't be in color (the bobbleheads aren't, after all). But dear God, imagine a Rod Serling action figure standing next to your PC monitor, or on top of your TV. Christ, I think I'd put one in every room of the house….

Check out this rather amazing custom Rod Serling action figure created by James Crawford, with a head sculpt by Andy Bergholtz. Go here for more info.

Anyway, I still haven't found out why the first three bobbleheads (Talky Tina, The Invader, and the Mystic Seer; previously addressed here) keep getting delayed. They were supposed to come out in October, then November, and now I found a listing somewhere advertising a January release. Mercy, what's the holdup? Talky Tina actually TALKS, and I'm dying to hear her. The only TZ item talking to me right now is my Robby the Robot Hallmark ornament…