Sunday, September 30, 2012

Rod’s Lonely Man



I've mentioned before that my original intent was that blog would be something more than simply an episode-by-episode-analysis-slash-product-placement-catalogue; my original goal was to write more personal reflections and observations about the TV show that has meant so much to me.  So here goes.

My wife of seven years and I have separated.  For the past three months I've been holed up in a 30-foot RV deep in the wilds of Boring, Oregon (okay, it’s actually an RV park, but it’s pretty secluded for this city-dweller). It’s actually a pretty sweet setup:  I've got my 42” 3D TV, my PS3, turntable and vinyl collection, 5.1 surround sound and a healthy selection of my blu-ray/DVD collection on hand (the rest of the collection resides in my Oregon City storage unit, where it is easily accessed five days a week).  Laundry facilities are just a few steps away.  The commute to and from work sucks, but it’s manageable.

It sounds somewhat ideal for an antisocial type like me… but somehow it’s been pretty miserable.  I’m utterly and completely alone out here.  No wife, no kids, no dogs…. Just me, and the nocturnal clatter of various forest insects and critters, and the occasional spate of rain that batters the thin roof overhead like an onslaught of bullets.

This is my life in the shadow of The Twilight Zone.  I am Serling’s isolated man, crushed beneath circumstances he can’t control (but likely brought on himself), despairing for human contact, cracking under the strain of loneliness.  I am Mike Ferris, wandering through an empty town.  I am James Corey, suffering through a life sentence on an asteroid.  I am Captain James Embry, frantically searching for his lost crew in a sweltering desert.

Have I sufficiently driven my point home?  I’m fucking lonely.  After spending the first two months in a deep depression, I've started taking steps to improve my health, both physical and mental:  I've recently joined a gym, I’m watching my calories, I've dramatically reduced my alcohol intake, and I’m starting to level out emotionally thanks to the antidepressant my doctor has prescribed.  I've lost about 20 pounds so far and my outlook is gradually brightening.

So anyway, that’s where I've been (if anybody was wondering about the lack of blogging lately).  As for the wife situation ---- I dunno, man.  Depends on the day, sometimes the hour.



Quick trivia question:  the title of this blog entry is a play on dialogue from a 70’s film with a Twilight Zone connection.  Name the film and explain the connection, and you might just win a prize.


3 comments:

Bill Huelbig said...

God's lonely man/Taxi Driver/Bernard Herrmann. Don't need a prize. The fact that you are starting to feel better is prize enough.

Craig Beam said...

Right you are, old friend. Has it been long enough to call you that? Tempus fugit....

No prize? Bah!

Mat Black said...

Hang in there. Things will get better if you let it happen.