Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Sobering.


This blog has changed since I started it. Or maybe I’ve changed. I dunno. When I first launched it, I published a couple of Twilight Zone-specific journal entries (or essays, or whatever) that I’d already written (in 2006 and early 2009, respectively). I anticipated writing quite a bit about the show, since it had been my favorite TV series for over 25 years and its 50th anniversary was looming large on my horizon. The intent of the blog was basically to create a single place to file said writings, and publishing them in blog form somehow endowed them with more weight than simply filing them away in a file folder on my computer. Or maybe it just looked nicer, I dunno. In any case, I started the blog for myself. If somebody else read it… well, okay.

It really was a blog in the beginning, an electronic version of a journal. The things I wrote about were personal and meaningful: the drama that unfolded as I tried to collect two sets of the entire run of The Twilight Zone Magazine. My excitement over the 50th anniversary of the show --- and the sobering realization that I had nobody to really share it with. The agony I felt waiting an entire week between each episode, as I undertook a five-year celebration of each episode’s 50th anniversary.

Things have a way of mutating. Maybe it’s just the nature of things, if the internet can be viewed as something that exists within nature.

I found myself reposting --- sometimes word for word --- official announcements about upcoming Twilight Zone merchandise. Who was I announcing this stuff to? I’d then post detailed reviews of the items I picked up, usually with copious amounts of pictures. I quickly realized that I wasn’t really journaling anymore. Things became very regimented: weekly episode spotlights, interspersed with product spotlights. I gradually stopped writing about my emotional connection with the series and focused instead on the cosmetic aspects of the blog. The heart was gone. Paradoxically, as the blog became less personal, more and more people started reading it. I started making connections with inside people. The damned thing has undeniably paid off… except it hasn’t cost me anything to produce, and I honestly wasn’t seeking any gain from it.

God knows I’m not complaining. But I can’t deny that I’d lost something in the transition to something less than a blip on the web and a counter that’s now about to pass 20,000 hits. I’ve stopped actually writing about my love of the show, and really examining the episodes (at least the important ones) on more than a cursory level. Maintaining the blog has become a chore, rather than something I look forward to working on. I think it really hit me recently when I had an idea for an entry, but abandoned it when I realized that I wouldn’t have any photos to pretty it up with.

The blog has become an episode guide-slash-product catalogue (complete with purchase links!). These things already exist, many times over. What void am I actually filling here?

It’s time for a change. It’s time to get back to my core mission. I’m in this for the long haul either way, but I’d prefer to enjoy this five-year ride I’ve put myself on. The weekly episode promos will continue (of course), but hopefully I’ll do more after-viewing reviews. The product spotlights/reviews will continue (of course). But I’ll attempt to augment the skeleton with muscle in the form of more personal entries. The title of the blog is, after all, MY LIFE In the Shadow of The Twilight Zone.

And by the way…. We’ve gone from 1,000 hits in February of last year to almost 20,000. That’s just wild. I want to thank those of you who obsessively devour every word, those of you check in regularly, and even those who only throw an occasional glance my way. I appreciate your time, and it really does mean a great deal to me that we share this love for The Twilight Zone. Keep reading, and keep commenting!



---Craig





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