My Life in the Shadow of The Twilight Zone

TZ Promo: “The Hunt” (1/26/1962)

2012-01-26T05:51:00.000-08:00

Season 3, Episode 18 (#83 overall)
Cayuga Production # 4810

50 years ago tonight, a kindly hillbilly took his dog out hunting… and never returned.

“The Hunt” is writer Earl Hamner Jr.’s first Twilight Zone script (he would ultimately write eight episodes), but he’s best known as the creator of TV’s The Waltons. In fact, “The Hunt” exists squarely in that Waltons universe… hillbillies, hicks, log cabins, 'coon huntin'... the whole nine acres. Not exactly my jug o' moonshine, but whatever. It’s a downright homey tale of one man’s transition from life to death, infused with gentle humor and backwoods charm (you’ve gotta love those literal “gateways” to heaven and hell). It’ll never make my favorites list in a million years, but there’s really nothing to complain about here: “The Hunt” is a cute excursion into Hicksville.

Gangly ol’ hayseed Arthur Hunnicut stars as Hyder Simpson, and the play-actin’ he does is jus’ tolerable. He’d go on to play a farmer-turned-catatonic-zombie in the “Cry of Silence” episode of TV's The Outer Limits two years later, but his biggest claim to fame is probably his portrayal of Uncle Jesse in 1975’s Moonrunners, which spawned TV’s The Dukes of Hazzard. Oh, and speaking of The Outer Limits… well, stay tuned.

Jeanette Nolan, meanwhile, is plum delightful as Simpson’s wife Rachel, but she’ll achieve greatness as the (literally) bewitching Granny Hart in season four’s wonderful “Jess-Belle.”

“The Hunt” features an original musical score by Robert Drasnin, whom we discussed a few months back. The score predictably utilizes guitar and harmonica (what, no Jew's harp?), and... well, it's a long way from his wonderful exotica output, that's for sure. The score has never been included in the myriad Twilight Zone soundtracks that have been released over the years, but it’s available as an isolated audio track on Image Entertainment’s blu-ray edition of season three.

In his Twilight Zone Companion, Marc Scott Zicree calls “The Hunt” “naive, badly directed, (and) only tolerably acted.” Sheesh, what a grouch.

Extra cheese, please.

Funny Zicree story… when I was about 13, I’d just discovered The Twilight Zone and I was well on my way to wearing out my first copy of Zicree’s book. I had a question about something he’d written (I don’t recall the specifics at this late date), so I called information and got his (apparently published) Hollywood number. I dialed the number and, upon hearing Zicree himself answer, lost my nerve and promptly hung up. So hey Marc, if you remember getting what seemed like a crank call 29 years ago... well, it was me. But you know what? I’m not sorry.

Directly after the end credits but before the network ownership stamp (or whatever the hell it is), CBS usually aired a quick (we're talking 5 seconds or so) promo for other CBS series (Gunsmoke, Make Room for Daddy, etc), but every now and then they’d show a public service ad (The Red Cross, etc). After “The Hunt,” viewers were treated to a suggestion by the Ad Council that they attend church and “worship together.” Was this strategically placed to match up with this particular episode’s fundamentalist vibe? We may never know for sure. Say your prayers just in case, kiddies.

Next week: Western + comedy = aw shit, Rod’s trying to be funny again.

TZ Promo: “Dead Man’s Shoes” (1/19/1962)

2012-01-19T05:55:00.000-08:00

Season 3, Episode 18 (#83 overall)

Cayuga Production # 4824

50 years ago tonight, a murdered gangster attempted to get his revenge the tried and true, old-fashioned way: by transferring his soul into a pair of shoes and taking possession of whoever wears them.

Wait, what?

“Dead Man’s Shoes,” written by Charles Beaumont (or maybe it was Ocee Ritch; accounts differ) and directed by Montgomery Pittman, opens with a body being dumped in an alley. The body belongs to a slick cat named Dane, who got himself iced when his business partner decided to go solo. Nate Bledsoe, a local hobo, stumbles across the body while foraging for second-hand food. He finds two things of interest on the body: an apartment key and a pair of rather unique shoes. He pockets the key and slips on the shoes, at which point he is abruptly taken over by Dane’s vengeful spirit… and the fun, as they say, begins.

“Dead Man’s Shoes” exists squarely in the world of film noir, much to my delight. All the hallmarks are there: the city at night, a mob killing, a beautiful moll with a gun in her hand, tough talking goons, a mob-controlled nightclub… it’s all there, baby. A beautiful moment comes when Bledsoe, under Dane’s control, ditches his hobo brethren and walks slowly down the night street. For a brief moment, it feels like season one again. All we need is a distant trumpet and floating neon signs and we’d be right back in “The Four of Us Are Dying”… which, incidentally, this episode strongly evokes, the Virgil Sterig sequence in particular (in which a murdered gangster apparently returns from the dead to get revenge).

Pittman’s direction is adequate but not spectacular. I’m a huge noir fan, so in an episode like this, I wanna see skewed angles and chiaroscuro lighting… but overall things here look pretty flat (except the moment described above). And damn it, I want some menace! Dagget never really comes across as a truly bad guy (I would’ve loved to see Richard Conte in the role; he was great as the heavy in the noir classic The Big Combo), and his sidekick is more crabby teenager than formidable henchman. The climax at the nightclub never achieves much of a confrontational vibe, and it's over much too quickly (I guess this is more a script issue than a directorial misstep).

Warren Stevens (who is still kicking at 92!) is good in the lead: he’s tentative and nervous as Bledsoe and, alternately, disarmingly dangerous as Dane, and his transitions from one to the other are subtle but effective. And hey, Forbidden Planet alert! Stevens played Lt. ‘Doc’ Ostrow, M.D., in that wonderful sci-fi classic.

Stevens, with Leslie Nielsen.

Genre fans will also remember Stevens' appearance in the (unintentionally) hilarious "Keeper of the Purple Twilight" episode of TV's The Outer Limits. And speaking of The Outer Limits.... well, stay tuned.

Meanwhile, Joan Marshall’s Wilma (there’s no way to tell, but I’m betting/hoping she’s got red hair) is a tasty morsel, an easy addition to the pantheon of TZ babes. That resigned sigh she emits as she crumbles beneath Bledsoe/Dane’s kiss is damn hot.

HOMOEROTIC HILARITY

During the episode’s prologue, as Bledsoe is pilfering Dane’s corpse, he slips his hand inside Dane’s back pocket, presumably looking for a wallet. This is an innocent act, purely out of necessity. However, he follows with what amounts to a gratuitous act of grab-ass (I won’t even touch the necrophilia ramifications therein). You’ll miss it if you blink, but thanks to the wonders of technology, the moment can be isolated and studied in high definition.

Yep, there’s no mistaking it. Wow, he’s really clutching that butt cheek there. But wait, there’s more: later, when Bledsoe (possessed by Dane) crashes Dagget’s club, the bartender advises him to stop staring at Dagget’s female companion. The response? “It’s not the woman I’m staring at.” And let’s get right down to brass tacks: those eponymous dead man’s shoes? Girlfriend, those kicks are fierce!

GENDER-BENT

The episode was remade as “Dead Woman’s Shoes” for the 80’s Twilight Zone revival series. Remember it? Nope, me neither.

“Dead Man’s Shoes” is a nice jazzy throwback to the gangster outings from the show’s first season, but it’s ultimately a bit too familiar. I’ve said it before and I’ll keep saying it: season three is when The Twilight Zone started borrowing from itself on a regular basis. This isn’t fatal in the case of “Dead Man’s Shoes,” but it certainly doesn’t help (a more aggressive noir atmosphere would’ve made a world of difference, but alas). File this one under “O” for “okay.”

Next week: Hillbilly + moonshine + shotgun = Earl Hamner Jr.’s first foray into The Twilight Zone.

TZ Promo: “One More Pallbearer” (1/12/1962)

2012-01-12T05:55:00.000-08:00

Season 3, Episode 17 (#82 overall)

Cayuga Production # 4823

Ah, the ol’ practical joke: hand buzzer, disappearing ink, fake vomit…. It’s all cute, quick and effective, but admittedly a bit juvenile. Adult practical jokes, meanwhile, demand more forethought, more complexity, more… finesse. For example, if you really want to pull one over on your friends (or enemies), you might just stage a fake nuclear holocaust to scare the hell out of them. 50 years ago tonight on The Twilight Zone, somebody did just that.

“One More Pallbearer,” written by Rod Serling and directed by Lamont Johnson (sheesh, did any other directors work on the show this season?), stars Joseph Wiseman as Paul Radin, a multi-millionaire playboy who has constructed an impenetrable bomb shelter, three hundred feet beneath his own building in downtown New York City. Utilizing sound effects and video footage, he plans to play the above-described practical joke. On who, you ask? Well, his three worst enemies, of course! A former teacher, a reverend, and an army colonel, three figures from his past who wronged him in various ways, and he’s gonna make them beg for his forgiveness as an artificial Armageddon looms.

A dick move? Yeah, definitely, especially since it’s clear that Radin managed to achieve great wealth and success despite the perceived wrongs done to him. However, the three “victims” come off so harsh and cruel that it’s really hard to feel sorry for them. Wiseman injects Radin with such nuance and pathos that we end up identifying with him, which makes this more a tragedy than the comeuppance tale it tries to be. Or I dunno, maybe this was intentional on Serling’s part. Radin’s fate (which I won’t spoil here) seems somewhat undeserved, despite the mindfuck he attempts to inflict upon his guests. It feels a bit muddy, morally vague, as if Serling isn’t really sure which message he’s sending.

LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION!

Despite the aforementioned muddiness of the episode's themes, the set design is one thing that shines with crystal clarity. This is by far the swankest bomb shelter ever built. My God, just look it at!

Rows of martini and highball glasses!

Highly cool retro furniture!
(okay, I guess it wasn’t retro 50 years ago)

A flat screen TV, several decades before they were invented!

Whatever that big hanging mobile thing is, I totally want one.

And those rocky walls in the outer hallway are a nice touch too, conveying the fact that we are deep, deep underground.

Man oh man, I wanna live in there. You have no idea. Truth be told, I do have a pretty swanky setup at home....

Submitted for your approval.... the den.

No, the Dalis aren't originals.

The TV (37" Panasonic plasma, 3D, 1080p).

IKEA should be thanking me for the free advertising.

I call this part of the den The Vinyl Lounge...

Records + liquor = Pure bliss.

And across from The Vinyl Lounge is my desk, where the blogging happens...

I'm not in this picture because I'm taking the picture. Wrap your head around that.

It probably looks like I'm showing off a bit. I guess I am. Hey, I've wanted a room like this my entire life.

LIFE'S A BITCH, AND SO IS SHE.

Radin’s former teacher demands special mention because she’s, well, a mean bitch. She’ll get her comeuppance in a way, when she (well, the actress playing her, Katherine Squire) meets the business end of a subway train in season four’s “In His Image.” Karma, man.

All in all, “One More Pallbearer” is a fine enough episode. Nothing transcendent, just… really good. Wiseman’s performance, along with that beautiful set, elevates it above the mundane. There is a bit of that “been there, done that” vibe (which will continue to plague the show until it dies a pitiful death at the end of its fifth season), probably due to the ending, which harkens back to “Time Enough at Last” (see for yourself; I’m not spoiling!). It should be mentioned that there’s really no supernatural element here, which should probably count against the episode. But Serling’s script does have some choice lines in it…. Okay, yeah, I’m kinda flip-flopping here. I like the episode quite a bit, but I don’t love it. There, good enough?

Next week: Hey, remember on Lost, when Jack was trying to get back to the island, and he needed his dead father’s shoes to do it? Um… okay, that has nothing whatsoever to do with next week’s episode, except it’s called “Dead Man’s Shoes.” Man, I’m fucking loopy this week.

TZ Promo: “Nothing in the Dark” (1/05/1962)

2012-01-05T05:36:00.000-08:00

Season 3, Episode 16 (#81 overall)
Cayuga Production # 173-3662

Her name is Wanda Dunn. She’s an old woman who lives alone in a shabby tenement, afraid to go outside. She’s convinced that Death himself is out there, just waiting to come in and claim her.

The thing is…. well, she’s right.

“Nothing in the Dark” is a moving study of humanity’s fear of its own mortality, and Gladys Cooper’s portrayal of the frightened old woman is one of the greatest performances ever captured on The Twilight Zone. Cooper will (happily) return for appearances in season four’s “Passage on the Lady Anne” and season five’s “Night Call.” She’s fine in both, but “Nothing in the Dark” is where she truly shines.

Unfortunately, young Robert Redford... well, sucks as the wounded cop who finally convinces her to open the door and help him. Oh, sure, he’s pretty to look at, but he couldn’t act his way out of a paper bag at this early point in his career (I’m not entirely convinced that he ever became that great of an actor, truth be told). As great as “Nothing in the Dark” is, Redford’s embarrassingly bad performance is a serious blemish. I imagine this is why the episode doesn’t appear in my Top 20 Favorites list (it did make my Top 40 list two years ago, however).

O, DEATH!

This is Death’s third (and final... I think) appearance in the series. We’ve encountered him twice before, in “One for the Angels” and “The Hitch-hiker” (both from season one) and, once again, he proves less frightening when his quarry stops struggling and acquiesces, a pleasant alternative to the skull-and-scythe depiction we’ve all seen countless times. Here’s hoping the real Death is a nice guy...

Another connection to “The Hitch-hiker” can be found in the stock music used in the episode. During Death’s surprise (well, not really) reveal near the end, the underscore features cues from Bernard Herrmann’s music for the radio production of “The Hitch-hiker” (which was subsequently used in the TZ adaptation). A nice touch for attentive ears.

Lamont Johnson directs a George Clayton Johnson script (no relation, as far as I know). We just saw Johnson’s directorial chops two weeks ago in “Five Characters in Search of an Exit” but, interestingly enough, he directed “Nothing in the Dark” earlier. Like, way earlier. The production number (173-3662) indicates that this episode was actually produced during the show’s second season, but held back until the third (the same is true of “The Grave,” which we looked at back in October). The opening shot of act one does not feature the usual season three title cards (episode title, writer, director)… we simply open on a shot of Wanda slowly unlocking and opening her front door. The title shot above is from the episode’s end credits (the only place the episode title was ever seen during season two).

In his The Twilight Zone: Unlocking the Door to a Television Classic (which you need on your shelf; seriously, go NOW and get a copy), Martin Grams Jr. reports that “Nothing in the Dark” was originally scheduled to close the second season, but was replaced by “The Obsolete Man” and held back until midway through season three. This strikes me as odd…. If the episode was ready to go in mid-June, why was it held in limbo for six months? Was Serling and Company as dismayed by Redford's performance as me? In any case, as much as I love “The Obsolete Man,” I think “Nothing in the Dark,” with its elegiac and meditative qualities, would have been more effective as a season finale. But hey, what do I know?

In 1992, a local theater company called Hellfire Productions presented Tales from The Twilight Zone, which included stage adaptations of three TZ episodes: “The Obsolete Man,” “A Game of Pool,” and yes, “Nothing in the Dark.” It’s been almost 20 years, and my memory ain’t what it used to be, but I recall being quite impressed with their efforts.

"Am I really so bad?" Um... yeah, Bobby, you kinda are.

“Nothing in the Dark” is ultimately an exercise in frustration for me. It possesses all the elements of a truly great episode, but Redford’s awkward mannequin routine hurts it enough to cripple its chances at true legend status. As it stands, it’s a Mona Lisa with a crayon mustache. Too bad.

Next week: The world gets nuked yet again… or does it?

SyFy New Year's Eve Marathon 2011

2011-12-30T05:38:00.000-08:00

Here we are, on the cusp of a brand new year. To ring it in, SyFy is airing a whopping 44.5 hours of The Twilight Zone! Here’s the schedule….

12/31/2011

09:00 AM Escape Clause
09:30 AM In Praise Of Pip
10:00 AM Ring-A-Ding Girl
10:30 AM And When The Sky Was Opened
11:00 AM The Silence
11:30 AM The Hunt
12:00 PM I Am The Night - Color Me Black
12:30 PM The Rip Van Winkle Caper
01:00 PM Queen Of The Nile
01:30 PM Caesar And Me
02:00 PM Probe 7, Over And Out
02:30 PM Mr. Dingle, The Strong
03:00 PM A Kind of a Stopwatch
03:30 PM The Little People
04:00 PM A Hundred Yards Over The Rim
04:30 PM The After Hours
05:00 PM Little Girl Lost
05:30 PM A Game Of Pool
06:00 PM Long Distance Call
06:30 PM A Most Unusual Camera
07:00 PM Stopover In A Quiet Town
07:30 PM Number Twelve Looks Just Like You
08:00 PM A Penny For Your Thoughts
08:30 PM I Sing The Body Electric
09:00 PM Night Call
09:30 PM Five Characters In Search Of An Exit
10:00 PM Nick Of Time
10:30 PM Night Of The Meek
11:00 PM Kick The Can
11:30 PM Where Is Everybody?

1/01/2012

12:00 AM The Midnight Sun
12:30 AM People Are Alike All Over
01:00 AM Walking Distance
01:30 AM I Shot An Arrow Into The Air
02:00 AM Two
02:30 AM Uncle Simon
03:00 AM A World Of His Own
03:30 AM Hocus-Pocus And Frisby
04:00 AM The Lonely
04:30 AM A Short Drink From A Certain Fountain
05:00 AM A Thing About Machines
05:30 AM The Arrival
06:00 AM The Sixteen-Millimeter Shrine
06:30 AM The Brain Center At Whipple's
07:00 AM Judgment Night
07:30 AM The Last Rights Of Jeff Myrtlebank
08:00 AM The Four Of Us Are Dying
08:30 AM The Jeopardy Room
09:00 AM Black Leather Jackets
09:30 AM A Piano In The House
10:00 AM A Nice Place To Visit
10:30 AM Twenty-two
11:00 AM King Nine Will Not Return
11:30 AM The 7th Is Made Up Of Phantoms
12:00 PM The Grave
12:30 PM Death's Head Revisited
01:00 PM One For The Angels
01:30 PM The Old Man In The Cave
02:00 PM It's A Good Life
02:30 PM Dead Man's Shoes
03:00 PM The Hitch-Hiker
03:30 PM The Dummy
04:00 PM Third From The Sun
04:30 PM The Invaders
05:00 PM The Bewitchin' Pool
05:30 PM The Midnight Sun (2nd airing)
06:00 PM The Masks
06:30 PM The Howling Man
07:00 PM The Odyssey Of Flight 33
07:30 PM Living Doll
08:00 PM The Obsolete Man
08:30 PM Eye Of The Beholder
09:00 PM Time Enough At Last
09:30 PM A Stop At Willoughby
10:00 PM The Monsters Are Due On Maple Street
10:30 PM To Serve Man
11:00 PM Will The Real Martian Please Stand Up?
11:30 PM Nightmare At 20,000 Feet

1/02/2012

12:00 AM The Shelter
12:30 AM Mr. Bevis
01:00 AM Mr. Denton On Doomsday
01:30 AM The Fever
02:00 AM Nightmare As A Child
02:30 AM What's In The Box
03:00 AM The Prime Mover
03:30 AM Mr. Garrity And The Graves
04:00 AM Perchance To Dream
04:30 AM Long Live Walter Jameson
05:00 AM What You Need

Thoughts:

“The Midnight Sun” is airing at…. midnight. Nice touch. But then they’re showing it again 17 ½ hours later… not sure why.

Since no hour-long episodes are included in the marathon, a total of 88 half-hour episodes are being shown (it would’ve been 89; thanks, “The Midnight Sun”). There are 138 half-hour episodes in the series’ run, which means 50 half-hour episodes have been left out. Here are 11 of the most egregious exclusions:

The Purple Testament
Mirror Image
A World of Difference
A Passage for Trumpet
Nervous Man in a Four Dollar Room
Shadow Play
Nothing in the Dark
The Fugitive
The Changing of the Guard
Steel
An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge

Meanwhile, SyFy is including such clunkers as “Mr. Dingle, the Strong,” “Caesar and Me,” and… yep, the reviled, putrescent stinkfest that is “Mr. Bevis.” The mind reels. And why are the hour-long episodes being ignored, exactly?

As with any other TZ marathon… I won’t be watching. I have the entire series on blu-ray, so I don’t need to sit through hacked-up syndication prints interrupted by commercials. Still, I wish more thought went into the selections. The thought of such an extensive marathon excluding beloved episodes like “Mirror Image” and “Shadow Play” just makes me sad.

And… that’s a wrap for 2011. On to 2012, where many surprises await… including Kanamit Week, coming up in March….

TZ Promo: “A Quality of Mercy” (12/29/1961)

2011-12-29T05:45:00.000-08:00

Season 3, Episode 15 (#80 overall)

Cayuga Production # 4809

50 years ago tonight, a glory-hungry lieutenant in the final days of WWII found the tables turned on him on a genetic level (I almost typed “quantum” there, which would’ve been a cute joke; read on…) when he finds himself inexplicably transformed into that which he hates most: his Japanese counterpart. The DNA, as they say, is on the other helix. Or something like that.

“A Quality of Mercy” stars Dean Stockwell, probably best known to genre fans as Admiral Al Calavicci, hologram advisor to Scott Bakula’s time-skipping Dr. Sam Beckett on TV’s Quantum Leap (now do you get the “quantum” joke above? Hey, c’mon, that’s gold!). Here he’s… well, much younger, and his voice is much higher. He’s appropriately loud and obnoxious (and fittingly contrite later on) as Kattel, the young lieutenant with a hard-on for blood.

Albert Salmi, last seen in season one’s “Execution” (and who will pop up again in season four’s “Of Late I Think of Cliffordville”), is quite good as the war-weary sergeant who just wants to stop fighting and go home…. However, I would’ve liked to see him reprise Joe Caswell just long enough to treat Kattel to a knuckle sandwich.

Spock to Enterprise...

Everybody’s favorite Vulcan, Leonard Nimoy himself, appears here in a bit role. And furthering the Star Trek connection: Stockwell appeared in the “Detained” episode of Star Trek: Enterprise in 2002 (which starred Scott Bakula! A-ha!), plus he appeared in the 80’s Twilight Zone revival series (“Room 2426”). I’m not sure this qualifies as a “six degrees” situation, but there you go.

“A Quality of Mercy” was semi-remade in Twilight Zone: The Movie as “Time Out,” the catastrophe-laden filming of which cost the lives of actor Vic Morrow and a couple of Vietnamese children…. a horrific tragedy to be sure, made even more tragic by the fact that the resultant film wasn’t even very good.

Eine Kleine Nacht.... Morrow?

War is hard enough. Do you have to be a dick too?

“A Quality of Mercy” is another WWII-in-The-Philippines script from Rod Serling, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing (he lived it, after all; the core idea might be someone else's, but Serling totally makes it his own). It’s impossible not to compare this episode to his earlier “The Purple Testament,” and yeah, it’s probably not quite as good… but it stands up pretty well on its own. It has that vague “been there, done that” quality that the series will regularly exhibit for the rest of its run, but it’s certainly not a bad effort. I’d probably rate it somewhere smack dab in the middle, and when it comes to The Twilight Zone, that’s still better than most TV, then and (most certainly) now.

Next: The Twilight Zone rings in the New Year with another appearance by Mr. Death, only this time he’s kinder and gentler… not to mention painfully handsome.

Rag Status: Master Archive Collection complete!

2011-12-27T18:49:00.000-08:00

As I reported recently, I was two issues shy of completing my "master archive" set of the entire 61-issue run of Rod Serling's The Twilight Zone Magazine (1981-1989). I am happy to report that I have acquired those elusive two issues.

August 1988. You shall elude me no more.

April 1989. The final stitch in a arduous tapestry of acquisition.

Stacked by year, 1981-1989.

Each issue is in at least "very good condition," but most are "fine" or even "mint." And, in the parlance, each issue is "bagged and boarded"... but I'm considering storing them in binders. For now they're residing in the box shown above, but I'm planning at least upgrade to a sturdy plastic tote for long-term storage.

And this mission is by no means over! As previously reported, I'm collecting a second "utility" set for casual reading/scanning, of which I'm still missing 14 issues. So the search continues. The main set, the "fine-to-pristine" master archive collection, is finally complete, so I'm not in a big rush.... uh-huh, yeah, right. Truth be told, I'm just aching to complete the secondary set (the OCD monkey in my brain has been awakened). In fact, I recently took an afternoon off and headed to downtown Portland to reliable old Periodicals Paradise, where I previously acquired many issues for both sets, only to be greeted with the following:

D'oh! Oh well, it's less than a week away, and I just happen to have January 2nd off.... so of course I'll be there and, with any luck, plug some of the remaining holes in my second set.

Merch Spotlight: Twilight Zone Cigarette Case!

2011-12-27T08:55:00.000-08:00

Christmas has come and gone. Santa didn't bring me anything TZ-related this year, but fear not! I gave myself something quite nice....

eBay is a great place to find weird items that you never knew existed (more specifically, unauthorized products that aren't available through regular retail channels). Case in point: the Twilight Zone pub light sign, which I picked up early last year. It came from Hong Kong, where copyright laws don't seem to apply. Several years back I picked up a Rod Serling lightswitch cover, which is either deep in a box in the garage or was lost in our last move. It was obviously a homemade product, but I loved it nevertheless. This newest item to join my TZ collection is also clearly homemade, but it's a slick, professional job. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you.... the Twilight Zone cigarette case!

I've owned this exact graphic in poster form twice in my life: when I was a teenager living with my parents, and more recently in my home office at our last house (our current digs unfortunately lack an extra room, so my poster, along with lots of other cool stuff, languishes out in the garage). Here, it's sharp as a tack and coated with a hard coat of something glossy to protect it.

On the right side we have a simple latch-and-spring mechanism. Press a button, and the case springs open.

I'm not a smoker, but I bought a pack for the express purpose of illustrating the case in action. These are standard 85-mm Marlboro Reds, but the case will accommodate 100s. And no, it doesn't hold two rows of cigarettes... the interior is a mirrored stainless steel.

The item was advertised as a cigarette case, but it can also be used as a money/ID holder. I guess it's more interesting than a wallet, and it might spark a few conversations.

The back of the case is blank. I suppose one could have it engraved. Hmmm.....

I just checked eBay, and there's only one TZ cigarette case listed, and it's a completely different one from a different seller. If the case depicted here is something you feel compelled to track down, check eBay on a regular basis. I'm sure it'll pop up again.

TZ Promo: “Five Characters In Search of an Exit” (12/22/1961)

2011-12-22T05:52:00.000-08:00

Season 3, Episode 14 (#79 overall)
Cayuga Production # 4805

“Where are we? What the hell is going on?”
(Imogen Heap, “Hide and Seek”)

50 years ago tonight, five disparate souls found themselves in the middle of nowhere… quite literally. It’s an utterly blank room with curved walls, which stretch up twenty, maybe thirty feet high. There are no doors, no windows. A deafening gong sounds every so often, shaking the entire room and knocking the unfortunate occupants to the floor.

And then there’s the matter of our five characters. They are enigmatic and generic: army major, clown, ballerina, hobo, bagpipe player. They know what they are. But who they are, and how each of them arrived in this small pocket of nowhere… these things remain hidden, from both themselves and us.

Rod Serling’s teleplay for “Five Characters in Search of an Exit” is adapted from an unpublished short story by Marvin Petal called “The Depository.” The episode consists mostly of our five human question marks trying to make sense of their surroundings, and ultimately agreeing on a plan of action that may mean escape, enlightenment, or both. Whether the ultimate revelation is satisfactory will depend on the viewer’s requirement for a neat, tidy ending. I state this because, while the denouement does explain much of the mystery, it does so superficially; the deeper questions are never really answered and, further, an entirely new mystery is brought forth.

They could be damned souls. The giant cylinder they’ve been dropped in could in fact be a hell of sorts. The answer we are ultimately given certainly doesn’t preclude this possibility.

Like “The Lonely” and “The After Hours” before it, “Five Characters in Search of an Exit” serves as a meditation on identity; specifically, the uncertain line separating that which we perceive to have identity versus that which we define as an object. Dialogue from the episode, along with Serling’s closing narration, suggests that love is the key factor in this type of determination. Corry loved Alicia, which made her more than a robot. Our five characters may be blank slates only because they are, for the moment, unloved. Perhaps they are intended as walking, talking metaphors for loneliness. In this light, the damnation angle seems a bit harsh.

Our hero makes it to the top, only to discover the impossible truth of his existence.

Lamont Johnson’s direction is effective (given the essential nothingness of the setting), but what really elevates the episode is the interplay between William Windom and Murray Matheson as the army major and clown, respectively.

An action figure rendering of the Clown by Bif Bang Pow! was scheduled for May 2012, but it’s been delayed. Rumor has it that he’ll reappear in set of all five characters… which presents an awesome packaging option (toy donation barrel! Oh damn, there’s a spoiler….).

OMELETTE DU HOMAGE

J.J. Abrams’ TV series Felicity (1998-2002) paid loving homage to “Five Characters in Search of an Exit” in the episode “Help for the Lovelorn,” which was shot in black and white and directed by… you guessed it, Lamont Johnson. I can’t recommend the series, as I avoid these types of romantic dramas like the plague, but this particular episode is quite well done.

As of this writing, "Help for the Lovelorn" is available on Netflix streaming. Thankfully, Abrams has gone on to bigger and better things (including TV’s Lost and the big screen Star Trek reboot). He wrote the Felicity episode in question, so he must be a TZ fan. Hey, I wonder if he reads this blog….? Okay, probably not.

A RENEWED SENSE OF (RE)PURPOSE

The gigantic semi-cylinder that comprises the main set would appear on TV again in my second-favorite series of all time: The Outer Limits (in two episodes: “The Inheritors, Part 2” and “The Probe”). Thanks to Martin Grams Jr.’s gloriously exhaustive The Twilight Zone: Unlocking the Door to a Television Classic for this tidbit. Oh, and speaking of The Outer Limits.... well, stay tuned.

"Five Characters in Search of an Exit" is certainly one of the more bizarre excursions into The Twilight Zone, and I like it a great deal. It did rank in my top 40 favorites two years ago, but didn't quite make the cut when I narrowed it down to 20 earlier this year. Might need to do some revising to that list yet again....

Next week: War is hell. Yet again.

TZ Promo: “Once Upon a Time” (12/15/1961)

2011-12-15T05:58:00.000-08:00

Season 3, Episode 13 (#78 overall)

Cayuga Production # 4820)

A warning, before we proceed: I’m gonna phone this one in. Christmas is next week, I’ve got a million things to do, and frankly…. I just don’t give a damn about this particular episode.

“Once Upon a Time” is writer Richard Matheson’s love letter to silent film comedian Buster Keaton, whom he presumably grew up watching (and who stars in the episode). It’s a slapstick comedy involving a disgruntled janitor in 1890 who travels to 1960 and finds that the world sucks even worse in the future. 50 years ago, this was offered up as a nostalgia piece, and since I wasn’t around 50 years ago, I have no idea whether or not it was successful in that context. I can report that now, today, it’s unfunny and tedious. It doesn’t speak to me on any level. The Twilight Zone can be whimsical, even comedic, and still work, but slapstick has no business rearing its goofy, obnoxious head on this show.

Is it a total loss? I dunno. The segments that take place in 1890 are altered to mimic a silent film, with jerky motion and text cards to convey dialogue, and it’s a pretty clever approach.

And the time travel helmet looks sufficiently like something you’d see in very early science fiction (in other words, it looks ridiculous, but in an oddly charming way; kinda like Hugo’s rocket crashing into the moon’s eye).

But…. well, that’s pretty much all this episode has to offer. Since I’m not a fan of early silent films (well, outside of Fritz Lang’s German output), I don't get a warm fuzzy feeling seeing Buster Keaton coming out of retirement for something this lame. All I see is a confused guy standing in the middle of a busy street in his underwear, holding a chicken. Yawn.

I should note that is the 78th episode of The Twilight Zone to air, which means we’re exactly halfway through the series. The remaining half does hold many treasures (some of the series’ finest offerings are still to be seen), but the overall quality of the series is gonna decline from here on in. In that respect, "Once Upon a Time" is most certainly a harbinger of things to come.

Next week: Five strangers wake up in a strange place with no memory of how they got there. And no, it’s not The Hangover 3-D: Christmas Vacation.

WTF???

2011-12-10T16:05:00.000-08:00

An interesting tidbit of information to close out our seven-day spotlight of the latest Bif Bang Pow! Twilight Zone merchandise... it seems their Clown action figure (from "Five Characters in Search of an Exit"), due out in May 2012, has been delayed. An entirely new (and unexpected) figure has replaced it in the lineup: Cyclops, the gigantic inflatable fake alien from season five's "The Fear."

I'm sorry... how's that?

I'm taking this as bad news. "The Fear" is a third-rate episode with a fourth-rate "alien." It's basically an astronaut with an oversized eyeball for a head. Well, that's what it looks like; in actuality it's A FUCKING PARADE BALLOON. Have a look:

God, what a retarded monstrosity. All the iconic TZ characters that they haven't touched yet, and they choose THIS? Ugh. Well... who knows, maybe I'll end up loving it. Bif Bang Pow! does have a history of making excellent action figures out of characters that I hate. But it needs to be said: this is the single most confounding choice they've made yet. I just don't get it.

Here's my concern: we're heading into the 4th year of Bif Bang Pow!'s TZ line. By my count, only three TZ items have sold out, and all of them are bobbleheads. This means that EVERY SINGLE TZ action figure is still available and easily obtained. I'll take that to mean that sales haven't been exactly brisk. I'll extrapolate a bit further and speculate that, eventually, the line will peter out due to underwhelming sales. The Twilight Zone isn't Star Wars, or Star Trek, or even fucking Doctor Who... the built-in fan base tends toward older men who don't buy action figures (I'm, ahem, an exception). This can't last forever. Given this, it seems like maybe they'd front-load the line with important, iconic characters. As great as their respective figures turned out, nobody was clamoring for Jason Foster or The Three-Eyed Venusian. Where's Anthony Fremont? Where's Marsha the Mannequin? Where's Robby the Robot, who appeared in two different episodes with two different heads? Nowhere, because we're getting Cyclops.

I'm a bit deflated by this news.

I know what you're thinking. If the prospect of a Cyclops figure doesn't interest me, I could just opt to not buy it...right? Wrong! Because Entertainment Earth only sells the figures in pairs, and since it's paired with Alicia (from "The Lonely"), one my most wanted figures... well, do the math. I'm gonna end up with Cyclops whether I want it or not. The preorder page over at Entertainment Earth has been revised to include Cyclops... but the figure itself isn't shown (yet). Gee, can't wait.

The general consensus (aka unsubstantiated rumor) regarding the Clown, by the way, is that he's being held back for inclusion in a multi-pack of all five of the "Five Characters in Search of an Exit" gang (Army Major, Hobo, Bagpiper, and Ballet Dancer round out the bunch). Time will tell.

Spotlight: The Invader action figure (Bif Bang Pow!)

2011-12-10T05:58:00.000-08:00

Day 7 of our annual Bif Bang Pow! Celebration Week brings us to their Invader action figure. Longtime readers of this blog are undoubtedly aware of my deep and unfathomable love of the miniscule Invader, who was first seen in season two's "The Invaders" menacing poor Agnes Moorehead. Now, The Invader is actually human (yikes, spoiler alert!), so he's not really miniscule at all; nevertheless, Bif Bang Pow! has utilized the child-size body (6" tall), which sets it apart nicely from the other figures. It was the right choice.

CHARACTER LIKENESS

Well, there's no mistaking this guy for anything but an Invader. The sculpting of the head/torso is spot-on. The likeness isn't the problem... it's the overall proportions. Bif Bang Pow! uses generic bodies as the base for each figure, then adds character-specific heads and outfits. While The Invader is indeed human, his spacesuit is decidedly bulbous, almost inflated-looking... rubenesque, if you will.

The upper half of the figure is sufficiently plump. The real problem with The Invader figure is the legs. They're just too damned skinny. The clamshell armor could've been designed to extend down to the knees, which would have eliminated this issue. Bizarrely, Bif Bang Pow!'s earlier Invader bobblehead is much more faithful to the overall character design. This has gotta be the first time a bobblehead, with its inherent exaggeration of features, trumps an action figure:

Is this a deal-breaker? Well, damn it, no. It's a flaw, certainly, but not a fatal one. The figure still looks great.

The upper-body armor is a two piece clamshell affair. I pried mine apart, assuming that it would just snap back together, and was horrified to discover that the pieces wouldn't stay in place. So.... DON'T take the armor off, kids. Thankfully, a few dabs of super glue saved the day.

Under the armor, we have a metallic body suit with a Velcro strip running down the back. Oh, and NO FREAKIN' HEAD.

Topping off the outfit are a pair of boots, which unfortunately extend up under the pant legs. Taller boots, with the pants legs tucked inside, would have looked more accurate. The boots, along with The Invader's hands, are painted metallic silver, while adds to the metallic armor effect nicely.

ACCESSORIZE ME!

Nope. Nothing, nada, zip. Well, unless you count the clamshell-style armor that adorns the figure's upper half. I'm not counting it. The Invader SHOULD have come with at least one (but preferably two) laser guns. I can't deny that I'm a bit annoyed by this glaring omission. Christ, even the bobblehead has guns!

PACKAGING

The Invader arrives in the usual blister pack, heat-sealed to a card. The dimensions of the figure require a different bubble; therefore, this one is short but much deeper. The newest figures are depicted on the front of the card (all five of which we are spotlighting this week).

The back of the card features a delightful diorama featuring every single TZ action figure released so far, along with six figures not yet released (Santa Claus, Alicia, Maya the Cat Girl, Alien, Clown, and Nurse; those should hit in mid-2012). The Bob Wilson/Don Carter hybrid figure is marked as a Comic-Con exclusive; interestingly, last year's Willie the Dummy/Talky Tina pair is NOT marked as such. The wrecked spaceship in the background looks like it came from season five's "Probe 7 - Over and Out," which is a nice touch (wonder if we're getting a Richard Basehart figure at some future point...?). The new figures are limited to 1704 pieces each... my Invader is number 444.

The Invader comprises half of "Series 5" in Bif Bang Pow's ongoing Twilight Zone action figure releases. The Invader, along with the Three-Eyed Venusian, can be purchased from Entertainment Earth here. Each action figure is limited to only 1704 pieces, so don't delay, order today!

FINAL THOUGHTS

I was so prepared to hate this figure. And I should hate it, dammit, for the various reasons listed above. And yet ---- against all reason and logic --- I love it. Like, irrationally so. I don't know if it's the power of The Invader itself, or if Big Bang Pow! has me under some kind of spell, but whatever it is.... well, I'm not complaining. I'm happy to have The Invader action figure in my collection.... as I'm sure you'll be too.

Spotlight: Three-Eyed Venusian action figure (Bif Bang Pow!)

2011-12-09T06:01:00.000-08:00

Today we cast a critical eye (or three) upon Bif Bang Pow!'s Three-Eyed Venusian action figure. We met the Three-Eyed Venusian (whom I will refer to as "3EV" from now forward) working the diner counter in season two's "Will the Real Martian Please Stand Up?" and, while he's undeniably a Twilight Zone icon, he's unfortunately a one-trick pony: once you get past that third eye (as awesome as it is), there's really nothing else impressive about him. But I'm not here to judge which characters are worthy of plastic adaptation... I'm just here to give 'em the once-over and run down the details. A boring character does not necessarily translate to a boring figure. Read on...

CHARACTER LIKENESS

First off, let me say that the head sculpt is great. That third eye just pops. But... does it look like Barney Phillips, the actor who brought 3EV to life? Um... no, not exactly, but I think it's about as close as possible without getting permission from Mr. Phillips' estate (remember, Bif Bang Pow! has permission to depict the character, not the actor; the exception being William Shatner). It's pretty damned close.

However, I will say that I get a slight Phillip Baker Hall vibe from him. There, I said it. Let's move on.

ACCESSORIZE ME!

Well, there's the apron (which he's already wearing), which I guess we'll count. The real accessory here is 3EV's soda jerk cap, which you'll undoubtedly use to reenact the classic scene in which he pulls his cap up off his head to reveal that wonderful third eye.

On the subject of 3EV's outfit... well, if you've been reading along this week, you know that I have a huge problem with multiple layers of clothing on figures of this size (8-inch), as you end up with the dreaded EPS (Excessive Puffiness Syndrome). Here's a case where, miracle of miracles, the opposite happens! 3EV is wearing a short-sleeved shirt with collar under a cardigan sweater, and it's beautifully rendered. Unlike the suits-and-ties of other figures, this get-up doesn't look puffy or oversized at all: it fits perfectly. Further, the sweater sleeves are long enough to accommodate various arm poses. They should've used this same material --- whatever it is --- to construct the suit jackets for Bob Wilson/Don Carter and Henry Bemis. And short-sleeved shirts would have worked for them too... why not? Free up those arms for some posing!

PACKAGING

3EV arrives in the usual blister pack, heat-sealed to a card. The newest figures are depicted on the front (all five of which we are spotlighting this week).

The Three-Eyed Venusian comprises half of "Series 5" in Bif Bang Pow's ongoing Twilight Zone action figure releases. 3EV, along with The Invader, can be purchased from Entertainment Earth here. Each action figure is limited to only 1704 pieces, so I'd suggest you expedite that order, cookie.

FINAL THOUGHTS

While I may not be crazy about the character choice (especially when I still have a long list of desired TZ denizens that haven't been actionized yet), I can't deny that Bif Bang Pow!'s take on the Three-Eyed Venusian is a complete and utter success. The combination of a great head sculpt and perfectly executed attire equals an absolute home run. He's paired with The Invader, who we'll spotlight tomorrow... so y'all come on back now, ya hear?

Spotlight: Henry Bemis action figure (Bif Bang Pow!)

2011-12-08T05:59:00.000-08:00

Today we spotlight Henry Bemis, another of Bif Bang Pow!'s latest Twilight Zone action figure offerings. We were introduced to Henry in season one's "Time Enough at Last," in which a meek bank clerk who loves to read finds himself the sole survivor of an all-out nuclear holocaust. He's certainly not the most visually arresting character in the TZ universe, nor is he a character that I'm particularly fond of (see here for a detailed accounting of all the ways I hate both the episode and the character), but I will concede that the action figure commemorating him works... for the most part.

CHARACTER LIKENESS

The Henry Bemis action figure looks enough like the character without necessarily nailing Burgess Meredith's likeness (which I presume would've raised production costs considerably). As a Meredith fan, I would've loved to see a true facial rendition, but the figure's mustache and Coke-bottle glasses are sufficient to evoke the character. There's no mistaking who this guy's supposed to be.

ACCESSORIZE ME!

I'm counting Henry's glasses (which are a bit too big) as an accessory, since they aren't part of the actual head sculpt. However, they are tightly glued to his head, which I guess will ensure that they won't slip off and break. I guess this Henry Bemis will get his lifetime of reading after all. Speaking of which, his other accessory is a stack of books, which he can gleefully carry around.

I guess another viable accessory would've been the pistol that he nearly offs himself with (the same pistol from the Bob Wilson/Don Carter hybrid figure would've worked)... but I guess that's kinda morbid.

With regards to Henry's suit.... well, shit. It's the same unwieldy, ill-fitting suit that plagues Bob Wilson/Don Carter (though in different colors; plus, Henry's jacket has 3 fake buttons instead of 1). I'll repeat my comments here:

The Mego-style body used for these TZ figures works well enough if they aren't encumbered by too much clothing.... which (Henry Bemis) is. You've got a shirt with collar, a necktie and a jacket, which adds up to a problem I'm calling EPS (Excessive Puffiness Syndrome). Nothing looks (or sits) right, poseability is severely restricted, and the sleeves of both shirt and jacket aren't long enough. Further, the elastic-band necktie (while a clever idea) totally fucks up the shirt collar.

No, I am not Harry Potter's creepy uncle.

My solution is to put the necktie UNDER the shirt, which looks a bit goofy but allows the collar to lay down (mostly) correctly.

I'm not gonna sugarcoat this: I hate the fabric suit, period. Why they couldn't simply create a single-piece jacket with a faux shirt collar and tie is beyond me. It would've looked better, been easier to handle, and would've undoubtedly been cheaper to produce. At this scale, it's just too many layers, and it looks ridiculous.

And no, I didn't take Henry's clothes off (like I did with Bob Wilson/Don Carter). No, no, no, NO.

PACKAGING

Henry Bemis arrives in the usual blister pack, heat-sealed to a card. The newest figures are depicted on the front (all five of which we are spotlighting this week).

Henry Bemis comprises half of "Series 4" in Bif Bang Pow's ongoing Twilight Zone action figure releases. Henry, along with Doctor Bernardi, can be purchased from Entertainment Earth here. Each action figure is limited to a measly 1704 pieces, so you really don't have "all the time in the world" to get yours.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Clothing issues aside, the Henry Bemis action figure successfully evokes a beloved TZ character, and the accessories really add to the piece. There's enough here for a recommendation, but since he's bundled with Doctor Bernardi, you'll get him either way... right?

Spotlight: Dr. Bernardi action figure (Bif Bang Pow!)

2011-12-07T06:00:00.000-08:00

We turn our attention now to Bif Bang Pow!'s latest Twilight Zone action figure offerings. All four of the characters depicted are TZ icons in their own right, and each depiction carries with it both successes and, unfortunately, stumblings. Happily, the good far outweighs the bad. First up? Doctor Bernardi, probably the most famous face in TZ history (well, other than Rod Serling, that is), from season two's "Eye of the Beholder."

The Doc is a natural choice for the action figure treatment; in fact, I'm a bit surprised he didn't show up in the first waves of figures last year, given his stature in the pantheon of TZ icons. I'm happy to report that he was well worth the wait.

I complained about Bob Wilson/Don Carter's bulky suit and tie (and I'll complain again tomorrow when I look at the Henry Bemis figure), and The Doc's outfit makes my case quite effectively: single-layer thin fabric outfits work best at this scale. The surgical smock and scrubs fit perfectly (okay, the collar is a bit big, but nothing untoward), and look great.

The Doc's got no socks. Not a problem, since his scrubs hang low enough to hide his ankles. The shoes are standard-issue for the human males in the line: Bob Wilson/Don Carter and The Three-Eyed Venusian have the exact same shoes, as does Henry Bemis (but his are gray instead of black).

CHARACTER LIKENESS

Well, see for yourself. It's basically dead on. Probably the best head sculpt the line has offered so far. My only comment --- and this is pretty minor --- is that I would've liked some shading on the various porcine facial features to make them stand out a bit more. A bit of black around the eyes and inside the nostrils would've looked good too. However, the sculpt is amazing as is, and I can't wait to see the companion Nurse figure (due out next year) in person.

ACCESSORIZE ME!

Doctor Bernardi comes with his trusty stethoscope, which looks great. It's a bit stiff, though, so don't expect it to hang loosely around his neck. Maybe a tiny dab of Velcro would remedy this.

Sproing!

What The Doc doesn't come with is his wristwatch, which is a real shame. Bob Wilson/Don Carter comes with a great wristwatch, which would've worked quite well here. A syringe would've been great too... maybe the Nurse will come with one? The pre-order pic over at Entertainment Earth doesn't show one, but I'll remain cautiously hopeful.

PACKAGING

Doctor Bernardi arrives in the usual blister pack, heat-sealed to a card. The newest figures are depicted on the front (all five of which we are spotlighting this week).

Since Doctor Bernardi is a standard 8" figure, he gets the standard bubble. His lone accessory, the aforementioned stethoscope, can be found underneath him, beneath a piece of supporting plastic holding his legs in place.

The back of the card features a delightful diorama featuring every single TZ action figure released so far, along with six figures not yet released (Santa Claus, Alicia, Maya the Cat Girl, Alien, Clown, and Nurse; those should hit in mid-2012). The Bob Wilson/Don Carter hybrid figure is marked as a Comic-Con exclusive; interestingly, last year's Willie the Dummy/Talky Tina pair is NOT marked as such. The wrecked spaceship in the background looks like it came from season five's "Probe 7 - Over and Out," which is a nice touch (wonder if we're getting a Richard Basehart figure at some future point...?). The new figures are limited to 1704 pieces each... my Doctor Bernardi is number 839.

Doctor Bernardi comprises half of "Series 4" in Bif Bang Pow's ongoing Twilight Zone action figure releases. The Doc, along with Henry Bemis, can be purchased from Entertainment Earth here. Each action figure is limited to only 1704 pieces, so I'd probably bust a move if I were you.

FINAL THOUGHTS

I'm Doctor Craig, and I approved this blog entry.

Longtime readers will recall that, for Halloween 2010, my wife Teresa helped me put together a Doctor costume (okay, "helped" isn't really accurate... she basically did everything. All I did was buy the scrubs and stare at her cleavage while she applied my makeup). It's safe to say that I have a special fondness for The Doc now, so I'm glad to see his action figure turned out so well. Highly recommended!

Spotlight: Icons of The Twilight Zone bobblehead (Bif Bang Pow!)

2011-12-06T06:15:00.000-08:00

Bif Bang Pow! continues its wonderful line of Twilight Zone bobbleheads with something completely unexpected. I mean, they thought WAY outside of the box on this one. This may be the first bobblehead in history, TZ or otherwise, that's neither a character or a vehicle. It's not an alien, or a robot, or a spaceship, or a Dharma Initiative polar bear, or a TIE Fighter, or Charlie Sheen, or even Jesus. Nope, it's....

...well, what is it, exactly? For guidance, we'll look to the piece's name: Icons of The Twilight Zone: Five Unforgettable Symbols Synonymous with The Twilight Zone.

It's a monolith of sorts, incorporating iconic images from the various opening sequences used throughout the series' five-year run. The central 2-dimensional image is the door from seasons 4-5 ("You unlock this door with the key of imagination..."), surrounded by a starfield. From there, five distinct objects float out in front, three of which bobble on springs.

Clockwise, from... well, the clock:

Bobbling Clock (from seasons 4-5)

Bobbling Spiral (from season 3)

Eyeball (from seasons 4-5)

Bobbling Einstein's Theory of Relativity (from seasons 4-5)

Flying saucer (from several episodes;
most prominently season 3's "To Serve Man")

The eyeball and flying saucer do not bobble; rather, they are held in place by thin dowels, and can be turned to any angle you choose.

The Twilight Zone logo is attractively sculpted on the back of the piece. In fact, the backside looks nice enough to display on its own. Now there's a reason to get two!

Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!

This piece weighs 15.5 ounces; however, it seems all the weight lies at the front, which makes it extremely prone to falling forward. I'd suggest slipping something thin under the front edge to balance it out. I'm planning to stick a few rubber self-adhesive bumper feet under mine:

Balance issue aside, this is a frankly gorgeous piece. A Comic-Con exclusive, this particular item is ALREADY sold out over at Entertainment Earth. You can probably find one elsewhere (eBay, etc), but if you're at all inclined to track one down, I'd jump on it sooner rather than later. In fact, I need to find myself a backup... just in case.

Dali print not included.

Spotlight: Willie & Jerry bobblehead (Bif Bang Pow!)

2011-12-05T08:45:00.000-08:00

The second of three new TZ bobbleheads tweaks the format a bit: we get not one bobbling head, but two!

Willie & Jerry (the dummy and his ventriloquist, respectively) are from season three's "The Dummy." Jerry is played by veteran TV and film actor Cliff Robertson (who recently passed away), and Willie is played by... well, a block of wood. The patented Twilight Zone twist in this particular episode involves Willie gaining psychological --- and eventually physical --- control over Jerry, ultimately switching places with him. Bif Bang Pow! captures this metaphysical switcheroo brilliantly.

In the Willie & Jerry bobblehead, Willie is the master over Jerry. However, Willie is still clearly a wooden puppet, and Jerry is a miniaturized human. The episode found Jerry actually becoming a wooden dummy (and Willie becoming a man), but the choice to toy with the outcome (har har) here is an inspired one, as it adds another layer of TZesque weirdness. The fact that BOTH heads bobble elevates the piece even further.

Left view.

Right view (with spooky shadow).

As with several other TZ bobbleheads, the Twilight Zone logo is prominently featured out in front of the piece's base. The Bif Bang Pow! logo, and the usual copyright lingo, is printed on the underside of the base.

Willie & Jerry weighs in at 15.5 ounces, which places it in the middle of the pack (The Gremlin still rules the roost at almost 2 pounds!). It's heavy enough to break a window, though, so don't go tossing it around.

Willie (in his pre-transformative dummy state) was immortalized in action figure form last year, but he's much more menacing here, and not just because he has his hand stuffed inside Jerry's unfortunate back. He just looks.... y'now, evil.

What's left to say? Bif Bang Pow! continues its perfect Twilight Zone bobblehead record with Willie & Jerry, and you'd have to be a dummy not to add this one to your collection. Yes, I really did just type that.

Spotlight: Bob Wilson/Don Carter action figure (Bif Bang Pow!)

2011-12-04T14:35:00.000-08:00

Earlier today we gazed lovingly at Bif Bang Pow!'s Bob Wilson bobblehead. Now we move on to their action figure version, which has one rather surprising bonus feature: he's actually two characters in one!

William Shatner appeared in two Twilight Zone episodes, both beloved classics: season five's "Nightmare at 20,000 Feet" (in which he played the aforementioned Bob Wilson, a man beleaguered by a Gremlin on the wing of an airplane) and season two's "Nick of Time" (in which he played Don Carter, a man beleaguered by a Mystic Seer fortune telling machine). This action figure serves as both characters, including complete outfits and episode-specific accessories (they do share the same pair of shoes, however). This Bob Wilson/Don Carter hybrid immortalizes Shatner's contribution to the series while offering collectors the ultimate in interactivity: you can choose which Shatner character you'll proudly display.

Yeah, okay, this approach is somewhat problematic if you want to display both characters, as you'll have to buy two Bob/Dons to do so, which will give you duplicate sets of clothing and accessories. You'll also pay more, as this deluxe single figure will run you $32.99 (as opposed to the $37.99 Entertainment Earth charges for two regular figures), which means you're paying $14 for a change of clothes and a fancy box. Yeah, maybe this isn't such a good idea after all. It's certainly an interesting approach, and the fact that it's a Comic-Con exclusive adds to its perceived value, but if you're the type to open and display your figures, you're probably gonna be a bit pissed.

CHARACTER LIKENESS

No, I am NOT James Van Der Beek.

The Shatner likeness is... well, a bit disappointing, especially after the Bob Wilson bobblehead turned out so good. It's not a bad sculpt at all, don't get me wrong, it just... well, doesn't look much like Shatner. It's really too bad, not to mention frustrating, since Shatner himself gave the sculpt his stamp of approval! Even more madding is the fact that Mego pulled off a vastly superior Shatner likeness on their Captain Kirk action figure, at this EXACT same scale, over 30 years ago:

Well, since we're dealing with essentially two different action figures, let's tackle them individually. First up: Bob Wilson (the default or, in other words, the only one you'll ever see if you don't open him up and change his clothes).

Bob Wilson is really a no-brainer for the action figure treatment, since Bif Bang Pow! has already given us his nemesis The Gremlin. Bob comes with everything you'd expect: suit and tie, newspaper, pistol; it's nice to see Bif Bang Pow! throwing in some accessories (out of six TZ figures last year, only 1 had an accessory: The Kanamit's cookbook). Surprisingly, the best of Bob's accessories is the newspaper, because it contains a brilliant in-joke. It's a variation on the newspaper featured in season one's "And When the Sky Was Opened"!

Bob comes with a pretty spiffy looking wristwatch, which carries over nicely to his inevitable Don Carter identity switch.

Bob doesn't come with socks, but since his pants hang low enough, it's not really an issue. For the record, none of the new human characters come with socks. As I recall, only Talky Tina from last year had socks, which were painted on (but then again, her ankles were visible, so it was necessary).

Okay, now I'm gonna straight-up get my bitch on. The Mego-style body used for these TZ figures works well enough if they aren't encumbered by too much clothing.... which Bob Wilson is. You've got a shirt with collar, a necktie and a jacket, which adds up to a problem I'm calling EPS (Excessive Puffiness Syndrome). Nothing looks (or sits) right, poseability is severely restricted, and the sleeves of both shirt and jacket aren't long enough. Further, the elastic-band necktie (while a clever idea) totally fucks up the shirt collar (this same problem will resurface with Henry Bemis, who we'll spotlight later in the week).

My solution is to put the necktie UNDER the shirt, which looks a bit goofy but allows the collar to lay down correctly.

The necktie is held in place by a tiny little square of Velcro near the bottom of the shirt (it's actually hidden behind the waistband of the pants when the shirt is tucked in).

I'm not gonna sugarcoat this: I hate the fabric suit, period. Why they couldn't simply create a single-piece jacket with a faux shirt collar and tie is beyond me. It would've looked better, been easier to handle, and would've undoubtedly been cheaper to produce. At this scale, it's just too many layers, and it looks ridiculous.

Hand over the gorilla suit. It's gotta be more comfortable than this bullshit.

Heeeeeey ladies!

Let's get Bob out of that ill-fitting suit and into something a little more comfortable... like a whole new identity. Ladies and gentlemen, Don Carter!

First, the good: the outfit is pretty much dead on. Here's a shot from "Nick of Time" to demonstrate:

Nagging wife not included.

The not-so-good? The polo shirt is utterly destroyed by that horrendous collar. Seriously, what the hell happened here?

I think maybe the collar is supposed to lay down. Mine doesn't. A couple of tiny strips of Velcro would've REALLY come in handy here. But even then, the collar is still too damned big. A thinner material would've really worked well here (the shirt doesn't need to be as thick as a real polo shirt at this scale, guys).

Don Carter is obviously the less dynamic of the two Shatner characters here, but he does come with a killer accessory. That's right, it's a miniature Mystic Seer!

No, it doesn't dispense fortunes. And yes, the head is a bit ratty looking, but this thing is literally TWO INCHES TALL. The detail is pretty impressive, all things considered, and it's even got the bejeweled eye!

Don's final fortune read: "Ditch the bitch and take ME home."

PACKAGING

The front of the box is actually a flap, held shut by a tiny dab of Velcro. When opened, we are treated to shots from both episodes on the inside of the flap, and a window-box granting us a full-frontal view of Bob, flanked by his (and Don's) various accessories. Each character is depicted on opposite sides of the box:

The back of the box gives us a rather cute group shot of the whole Twilight Zone action figure family, including six figures that won't be released till next year:

This same picture adorns the card-backs of all the newer TZ figures. I especially appreciate the crashed spacecraft in the background, which looks like it came directly from season five's "Probe 7 - Over and Out."

I've gotta give Bif Bang Pow! props for the packaging. The figure and its assorted accessories are packed in a triple-layer plastic tray system, which makes it quite easy to put everything back into the box exactly as it came from the factory (the regular figures come on blister-packs, which are effectively destroyed upon opening). After my photo session with Bob/Don, I put him carefully back into his box, and you'd never know he'd been opened. Now THAT'S collector-friendly!

FINAL THOUGHTS

If you couldn't tell, I'm really torn on this item. There are a few things I love, a few things that I hate, and a lot of things that I'm relatively ambivalent about. If you're a TZ collector like me, you obviously have to own this (if you don't already). I do recommend it (if for no other reason than the awesome accessories it comes with), but with pretty heavy reservations. Think before you buy.

Cheer up. You're gonna outlive Nimoy no matter what.

Spotlight: Bob Wilson bobblehead (Bif Bang Pow!)

2011-12-04T09:35:00.000-08:00

We'll start our week-long Bif Bang Pow! spotlight with a long-overdue review of their Bob Wilson bobblehead. Astute readers will recall that, shortly after getting my hands on this particular item a few months ago, I accidentally, well... beheaded the poor thing. This unfortunate mishap necessitated the purchase of a replacement (and a delay of my spotlight). A new Bob is in my possession now, so without further ado, let's have a look.

Bob Wilson is, of course, played by William Shatner in season five's "Nightmare at 20,000 Feet." Wilson, who is recovering from a nervous breakdown and traveling home by air, repeatedly sees a creature outside on the wing of the plane, tampering with the engines. This bobblehead is intended to accompany the earlier Gremlin bobblehead, and they function beautifully in tandem as bookends. Despite the intrinsic chunkiness of each bobblehead, the two achieve a kind of elegance when combined.

But how does Bobblin' Bob fare on his own? Well, they certainly got Shatner's likeness down (much better than on their Bob Wilson action figure, which we'll look at later today). I love the way he's looking sideways at The Gremlin.

Note that the inside of the airplane's cabin is depicted on Bob's left. The window is actually cut out, completing the illusion. Meanwhile, on the other side:

It's the outside of the plane! This is a nice touch, completing the opposite approach of the Gremlin (in effect, the inside of the Bob bobblehead matches the outside of the Gremlin bobblehead, and vice versa). Here's a quote from my review of The Gremlin, published over a year ago: "Y'now, if Bif Bang Pow! ends up doing a companion Bob Wilson (Shatner's character) bobblehead, it would be ultra-cool to use a similar (albeit opposite) approach... just a thought." Maybe too much Twilight Zone over the years has rendered me a bit psychic, I dunno.

The Bif Bang Pow! logo, along with the usual copyright information, can be found on the underside of the bobblehead. Oddly enough, The Twilight Zone logo is nowhere to be found (this is the first TZ bobblehead without it), even though it could've easily been placed in the big blank space on the back of Bob's seat.

The TZ logo IS printed on the underside of The Gremlin bobblehead, though, and since it's unlikely that you'll own one without the other, maybe this isn't such a big deal.

The Gremlin's underside. Not what it sounds like.

Bob weighs in at exactly 16 ounces, which makes him quite a bit lighter than The Gremlin (that beast is a whopping 22 ounces!), which I guess makes him a bit less sturdy for bookending, especially if you're pushing him up against some beefy hardbacks. I've got Bob on semi-light duty holding up DVDs and blu-rays, and he's performing like a champ.

Bob Wilson is a great addition to the family of Twilight Zone bobbleheads, and if you've already got The Gremlin, you really can't say no to him. And even if you don't have The Gremlin... hey, it's William Shatner, a larger-than-life legend, in bobblehead form (but NOT as Captain Kirk for a change). Bif Bang Pow! doesn't disappoint with this release. A must have.

Announcing....

2011-12-02T15:03:00.000-08:00

Our week-long 2011 Bif Bang Pow! Celebration kicks off this Sunday (12/04), and runs through Saturday (12/10). For seven straight days, we'll be spotlighting the latest TZ action figures and bobbleheads... starting off with a William Shatner double-header (well, triple-header, technically) on Sunday. Here's a group shot of all the latest collectibles in mint condition, before I tear into 'em (hey, I can't review 'em if I can't open 'em up and play with 'em)....

TZ Promo: “The Jungle” (12/01/1961)

2011-12-01T06:25:00.000-08:00

Season 3, Episode 12 (#77 overall)

Cayuga Production # 4806

“We’ve done nothing wrong. We have nothing to fear, least of all from a bunch of witch doctors five thousand miles away.”

Alan Richards has just returned from Africa, where he is the head engineer on a proposed hydroelectric dam. The project is controversial because the native population, specifically a group of witch doctors, objects to the “wounding of the land” and has placed curses on everyone involved with the project. Richards, being a modern man with modern sensibilities, is unfazed. He discovers a small cache of protective talismans (a severed finger among them) in his superstitious wife’s possession and promptly destroys them. He has sealed both their fates, she believes. He discovers a dead goat outside their door. His long, dark night of the soul begins.

“The Jungle,” written by Charles Beaumont and directed by William Claxton, is an effective exercise in suspense, reminiscent of Jane Randolph’s dread-filled nighttime walk in 1942’s Cat People. Richards finds himself all alone in the city at night, seemingly pursued by --- well, what, exactly? We hear various jungle and animal sounds emanating from various sources (a telephone receiver, a lion statue, tress and bushes), but it’s never really clear if something is actually pursuing him or if he’s just losing his grip on reality. Despite the relative vagueness of the threat, there’s still much suspense to be found, and a few great surprises (the Zulu warrior mannequin in a storefront window is an inspired touch). It’s only at the end of the episode that the curse is proven all too real in an undeniably concrete fashion.

Dehner was last seen in season one’s “The Lonely” as Allenby, rocket pilot and friend to inmate James Corry, and he’ll return to The Twilight Zone in season five’s “Mr. Garrity and the Graves.” Here he’s urbane and sophisticated, befitting the role, and it’s fun to watch his civilized bravado unravel as the voodoo curse (or rather, the fear of it) overtakes him. A solid performance.

Dehner’s friend Chad Cooper is played by Walter Brooke (a prolific TV actor who seems to have appeared in almost every series produced in the 60’s and 70’s; seriously, check out his credits at imdb.com), who is probably best remembered for his immortal “Plastics” line in 1967’s The Graduate. I know him from TV’s The Incredible Hulk, where he had a recurring role as Mark Roberts, roving reporter (and Hulk-obsessed) Jack McGee’s boss. Burke will reappear in season five’s “A Short Drink from a Certain Fountain.”

LITERARY UNDERPINNINGS

Beaumont adapted “The Jungle” from his 1954 short story of the same name. It appeared in 1958's Yonder, a collection of Beaumont short stories, which contains two other Beaumont stories that would become TZ episodes: "The Man Who Made Himself" (season four's "In His Image") and "The Beautiful People" (season five's "Number Twelve Looks Just Like You").

SPFX REDUX

When Richards throws his wife’s talismans into the fireplace, there’s a quick eruption of sparkles and a popping sound, augmented with a musical sting (“Shock Chord VIII-44-C” by Lucien Moraweck). This identical effect, sting and all, was first employed in season one’s “A World of His Own” when Gregory West unmakes his characters-come-to-life by burning the Dictaphone tape he “created” them on.

Poof!

I griped last week about the simplistic plot of “Still Valley,” and it occurs to me that the plot of “The Jungle” is really no more complex. It works, however, as a sustained suspense piece; plus, that payoff at the end just plain rocks (I swear I ain’t lion. Ha, see what I did there?). “The Jungle,” while not a favorite, is absolutely worthwhile.

In two weeks: The Twilight Zone drags me kicking and screaming into the world of vintage silent comedy. Ugh.

The Big 4-2.

2011-11-30T19:25:00.001-08:00

As far as I can tell, there are no new Twilight Zone greeting cards floating around. The usual suspects, Hallmark and American Greetings, haven't released anything this year. As my 42nd birthday reared its ugly head this past Sunday... well, leave it to my old pal Bill Huelbig to fill the gap.

Front

Inside

Back

My wife, um, didn't make me a special Twilight Zone cake this year (as she's done for the past two years). In fact, there was no TZ to be found anywhere as I hit the big 4-2. Thank you, Bill, for injecting some much-needed Twilight Zone (not to mention humor) into the proceedings. As always, I love ya.

Rag Status, Fall 2011 Edition

2011-11-26T19:35:00.000-08:00

Longtime readers (all 2 of you) will recall that, early on in the life of this blog, I was endeavoring to recollect all 61 issues of Rod Serling's The Twilight Zone Magazine (60 regular issues and 1 special annual edition), which was published from 1981 to 1989 (I say recollect because at one time I had a complete set, which I sold off years ago in leaner times, probably the late 90's after my first divorce). I decided to go the extra mile and collect TWO sets (a "master archive" set in pristine or near-pristine condition, and a backup "utility" set for casual reading, as detailed here), but abruptly halted my efforts because of some, ahem, anger issues resulting from several last-minute eBay auction losses. At last count, my master archive set was missing a scant three issues, and my utility set was missing fourteen.

As of a few days ago, I acquired one of the final three issues for my master archive set... on eBay, but using a "Buy It Now" option (no bidding necessary). Ladies and gentlemen.... August 1983!

The coveted final two issues are April 1989 and August 1988:

I can't find a reasonably-priced copy of April 1989 without a subscription label, and August 1988 is just hard to find, period. I have multiple copies of both, but none in good enough condition to make the master archive. Alas, the search continues....

TZ Promo: “Still Valley” (11/24/1961)

2011-11-24T06:01:00.000-08:00

Season 3, Episode 11 (#76 overall)
Cayuga Production # 4808

50 years ago tonight, The Twilight Zone took us back in time 98 years (which I guess would be 148 years ago for our purposes). It’s 1963, the day before the Battle of Gettysburg, and the Confederacy is facing imminent defeat. A Confederate scout, Joseph Paradine, ventures into a small Virginia town to confirm Union occupation, and finds himself smack dab in the middle of…. “Elegy"???

Think Samantha had a copy of this book in her lingerie drawer?

Paradine finds a battalion of Union soldiers, lined up in formation in the middle of town. Trouble is… they’re frozen in place. A toothy old man, a Confederate sympathizer, claims responsibility: “I’m a witch-man, like my pappy before me. He was the seventh son of a seventh son, and I was his seventh son.” He produces a book of witchcraft titled, ridiculously enough, “Witchcraft” (we’ll see other such books throughout the series, and they’ll have better names; “The Bard” will give us the delightful Ye Book of Ye Black Art), and offers it to Paradine. With its power, the South can be victorious.

Cheer up, sourpuss.

Paradine is played by Gary Merrill, whom I know from 1961's Mysterious Island (which just came out on blu-ray in a limited edition from Twilight Time; I’m happy to own one of the 3,000 copies in existence; I’m a sucker for those wonderful Harryhausen films) and The Outer Limits (“The Human Factor”). He’s good enough as the grizzled Reb, made instantly uncomfortable by the prospect of using black magic, what with his God-fearin’ nature and all (funny, though, how an abhorrent practice like slavery seemed to jibe just fine with these secessionist’s Christianity). Playing Teague, the spell-casting old coot, is Vaughn Taylor, last seen in season one’s “Time Enough at Last” as Henry Bemis’ unsympathetic boss. We’ll see him again later this season, selling robotic grandmothers to lonely families, in “I Sing the Body Electric.”

Contrary to popular belief, I'm not Popeye's pappy.

We’ve seen large groups of people frozen in time before, in season one’s “Elegy,” and “Still Valley” suffers from the same inherent technical problem: namely, people absolutely cannot stand perfectly still. When Paradine makes his way through the frozen battalion of Union soldiers, you can see tiny movements everywhere. It’s particularly obvious in high definition, on a big screen. This issue plagued much of “Elegy”; thankfully only one short scene is affected here.

Ultimately, “Still Valley” is overly simplistic and easily forgotten. At best, it’s just mediocre. It’s certainly not on the same bottom-feeding level as “Mr. Bevis” or “Mr. Dingle, the Strong,” but there’s nothing good or great to be found either. Watch it once and move on to something better… like next week’s episode.

Freeze right there, mister!

THE MUSIC

“Still Valley” features an original score by Wilbur Hatch. It does the job, but there’s really nothing particularly memorable about it. Like all other original scores composed and recorded for The Twilight Zone, Hatch’s score was added to the CBS Music Library, for use in both future TZ episodes and other CBS productions. None of Hatch’s ten cues were ever reused on the show. Like most (but maddeningly not all) of the series’ original scores, it can be found in isolated form on both the Definitive DVD and blu-ray editions of season three from Image Entertainment.

A crappy shot of Mr. Hatch, courtesy of Google Images.

Next week: More black magic, this time of the African variety. Hoodoo wanna voodoo?

KTLA Thanksgiving Marathon 2011

2011-11-22T06:44:00.000-08:00

Turkey Day is upon us, and you all know what that means: KTLA (Channel 5, Los Angeles) is doing their annual Twilight Zone Thanksgiving Day Marathon. Starting Thursday morning, they’ll be airing the following episodes:

9:00 "Number Twelve Looks Just Like You"
9:30 "People Are Alike All Over"
10:00 "The Trade-ins"
10:30 "Stopover in a Quiet Town"
11:00 "On Thursday We Leave for Home"
12:00 "The Lonely" (a top 20 favorite)
12:30 "The Invaders"
1:00 "The Odyssey of Flight 33"
1:30 "And When the Sky Was Opened" (a top 10 favorite)
2:00 "Valley of the Shadow"
3:00 "The Fugitive"
3:30 "Third From the Sun" (a top 10 favorite)
4:00 "The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street"
4:30 "The Long Morrow"
5:00 "To Serve Man" (a top 10 favorite)
5:30 "The Eye of the Beholder” (a top 20 favorite)

KTLA is airing 16 episodes this year: 14 half-hour episodes and 2 hour-long episodes (last year’s schedule consisted of all half-hours). 5 of those 16 are top 20 favorites of mine, and 3 of ‘em are also in my top 10. Last year’s stats were a bit better, but this year’s lineup is no slouch. Happily, there are no turkeys in the bunch! No Dingle, no Bevis, no Harvey Hunnicut, no Oliver Crangle… sublime.

I don’t live in Los Angeles, so I don’t get KTLA, and even if I did, I wouldn’t be watching the marathon (commercials? Syndication cuts? Bah!). However, I still support such endeavors because, well, how else will The Twilight Zone find new fans? That newfangled internet thingamajig? Ha!

It would be nice if we could get some cross-promotion thing going with Bif Bang Pow! I for one would love to see some commercials for their action figures and bobbleheads…. Oh, and speaking of which… well, stay tuned. Got a bit of an announcement coming up…

TZ Promo: “The Midnight Sun” (11/17/1961)

2011-11-17T05:59:00.000-08:00

Season 3, Episode 10 (#75 overall)

Cayuga Production # 4818

50 years ago tonight, The Twilight Zone offered yet another glimpse of the end of the world. It wasn’t a nuclear war, or a worldwide plague, or even a planet-wide uncreation courtesy of Anthony Fremont. No, this was something new.

“The Midnight Sun,” written by Rod Serling and directed by Anton Leader, finds the earth losing its celestial bearings and settling into a collision course with the sun. Predictably, society disintegrates quickly as people prepare for a fiery end. Our story focuses on one woman, an artist named Norma, who opts to wait it out in her high rise apartment.

Ms. Nettleton, sweatin' to the oldies.

Lois Nettleton is fine in the lead; unfortunately, her efforts are undermined by the terrible acting by everyone else. Most offensive is Betty Garde, who is awkward and grating as Norma’s landlady and friend to the end (her death scene is embarrassingly bad). Even the radio announcer, who loses his cool live on the air, is completely unconvincing.

100% pure ham. Pre-cooked for your convenience.

What does work, besides Nettleton’s performance and Serling’s script, is the clever way in which the oppressive heat is depicted. Aside from the usual spray-on sweat and drenched clothing, special effects are employed to drive the point home: a mercury thermometer explodes before our eyes, and Norma’s oil paintings melt right off their canvases.

I'll stop the world and melt with you.

Bubble, bubble, toil and trouble.

And that twist ending ---- pure genius. The following picture is as close to a spoiler as you're getting outta me.

I’ve historically counted “The Midnight Sun” in my top ten favorites, but I’m not feeling quite as warmly toward it these days (har har). It’s definitely got a lot to offer, but when truly great episodes like “The Lonely” and “Mirror Image" (not to mention “Eye of the Beholder"!) are rated LOWER on my list…. yeah, it might be time for some further revisions.

PAPERBACK MEMORIES

“The Midnight Sun” is one of six season three episodes adapted into short story form by Rod Serling in New Stories from The Twilight Zone (the third in a trilogy of such books). As previously recounted, I acquired these paperback gems shortly after discovering the series in the early 80’s, so in several instances I read the after-the-fact story version before I ever saw the actual episode. “The Midnight Sun” is one such case.

THE MUSIC

Nathan Van Cleave (year unknown).

“The Midnight Sun” is graced with an excellent original score by Nathan Van Cleave. Employing a small five-piece ensemble (bass flute, two organs and two pianos), Van Cleave creates an eerie dread-tinged soundscape that gradually builds to a near-frenzy as the sun finally overtakes the earth (or, at least, appears to). Like many excellent TZ scores, “The Midnight Sun” has never been released on vinyl, tape or CD… but it CAN be acquired, thanks to the isolated music track Image Entertainment included in both the season three Definitive Edition DVD and blu-ray sets. It’s on my iPod, playing as I type this.

Next week: Nothing says Thanksgiving like… black magic?

TZ Promo: “Deaths-head Revisited” (11/10/1961)

2011-11-10T06:17:00.000-08:00

Season 3, Episode 9 (#74 overall)

Cayuga Production # 4804

Two weeks ago, The Twilight Zone gave us a goosebumps-inducing tale involving a vengeful ghost. Tonight, we celebrate the 50th birthday of a different kind of ghost story. However, this time we’ll see more justice than vengeance.

“Deaths-head Revisited,” written by Rod Serling and directed by Don Medford, introduces us to one of the Zone’s most deplorable characters: Captain Gunther Lutze, a former Nazi officer who has the unbelievable gall to visit the ruins of a concentration camp to indulge his nostalgia (does this make him Martin Sloan's evil counterpart?). Playing Lutze is Oscar Beregi (last seen in season two’s “The Rip Van Winkle Caper." He’ll appear again in season four’s “Mute”), and it’s a spot-on performance. He manages to create a vivid portrayal of an arrogant, wicked bastard without even an ounce of scenery chewing.

We are also introduced to one of The Twilight Zone’s most compelling and sympathetic characters: Arnold Becker, a concentration camp ghost, played with convincing frailty (tinged with righteous anger) by Joseph Schildkraut (probably best remembered as Anne Frank’s father in 1959’s The Diary of Anne Frank). He'll appear again later this season in another outstanding episode, “The Trade-Ins.”

The two play off one another marvelously. The characters are clearly archetypal, meant to embody larger collectives, but both are nuanced enough that we invest in them as individuals (by contrast, a similar exercise in season five’s “The Encounter” won’t be as successful because those characters are more stereotype than archetype). The whole affair is a bit of a loaded argument, of course: Nazi versus Jew. Who will prevail, especially in a cosmic justice-oriented universe like The Twilight Zone? The episode manages to avoid coming off as a black and white argument for human rights, thanks to the aforementioned performances, plus a great Serling script. Mention should also be made of Medford’s directing… there are several shots that elevate the episode above the standard “talking head” TV approach (the dizzy POV shot with Lutze staring up the somber Dachau ghosts is quite nice). The episode looks particularly glorious on a big screen in high definition (thanks to Samsung and Image Entertainment for making this possible in my living room).

It’s not much of a spoiler to note that Lutze gets exactly what’s coming to him in the end. Watching Becker maneuvering him toward his unfortunate destiny…. well, that’s the fun. Odd using a word like “fun” in reference to such a deadly serious episode, which deals with such deadly serious themes, but there you go. “Deaths-head Revisited” is another one of those episodes in which everything works beautifully, and it’s one of my top 20 favorites.

THE MUSIC

“Deaths-head Revisited” is another stock-scored episode, which means existing cues from the CBS Music Library were re-purposed (versus commissioning a new, original score). The dominant cue, which appears throughout the episode, is called “Mysterious Storm” by Jerry Goldsmith. This cue, along with lots of other early Goldsmith TV work, can be found on Jerry Goldsmith: The Early Years from Prometheus Records.

Of course, "Mysterious Storm" (along with the rest of the music used in the episode) can also be accessed in isolated form on both the Definitive Edition DVD and more recent blu-ray release of season three from Image Entertainment. Folks, I'm gonna keep plugging these blu-rays till every last one of you caves in and buys 'em.

Next week: Damn, is it hot in here, or what? Hoo-boy!

Bill, That's a REAL Good Thing You Did... (2011 Edition)

2011-11-06T10:25:00.001-08:00

My good friend Bill Huelbig celebrated his 57th birthday three days ago. I, um, completely spaced it this year. Yeah, I'm a pretty lame friend. To make matters worse, Bill sent ME an early birthday gift.

An attached note reads: "Happy (early) Birthday! This will inspire you when making next year's costume." Trust me, Bill.... it definitely has.

Richard Kiel, who played the various Kanamits in "To Serve Man," is probably best known as the metal-toothed villain Jaws from the James Bond films. More recently, he appeared in Happy Gilmore as Adam Sandler's ex-boss (and nemesis of golf pro Shooter McGavin). Bill met Kiel last month at the Chiller Theater Toy, Model & Film Expo. Hilarity ensued:

As reported earlier, Bill acquired Kevin McCarthy's autograph for me several years back. Bill's generosity has reared its beautiful head multiple times throughout our friendship, and I doubt I'll ever be able to repay him for all the cool things he's sent my way. But more importantly, he's a kind soul, a genuine sweetheart, and a real mensch.

Bill and I met through the Talking Herrmann forum at the Bernard Herrmann Web Pages (now known as the Society for the Appreciation of the Music of Bernard Herrmann). My Herrmann obsession was in its early stages, but Bill was a fan from way back. He sent me several compilation tapes of Herrmann's work, both well-known and esoteric, and focused my interest into a lifelong passion.

Bill, who lives across the county in New Jersey, came to Oregon for a visit.... in 2000, I think it was. I took him to Powell's Books, where he bought me a copy of Stephen C. Smith's excellent biography of Herrmann (A Heart at Fire's Center). That's the only time I've ever seen him in person, and it kills me to report that we didn't get a single picture together. He was in Seattle a few weeks back, a mere 185 miles away, and I wasn't able to meet up with him due to family commitments. I'm hoping to make it back east sometime in the next couple of years. Mark my words, when it finally happens, I WILL get a picture of the two of us.

Happy late birthday, Bill. I love you, my friend.

TZ Promo: "It's a Good Life" (11/03/1961)

2011-11-03T06:08:00.000-07:00

Season 3, Episode 8 (#73 overall)

Cayuga Production # 4801

Fifty years ago tonight, the entire world disappeared, save for one little town in Ohio. How? Why? Well, if we must assign blame, we must gaze down at a six year-old boy, who might just wish us away into a cornfield for bothering him.

“It’s a Good Life,” adapted by Rod Serling from a short story by Jerome Bixby, is one of the best offerings in the series’ five-year run (it’s in my top 20 favorites). Anthony Freemont, well played by Billy Mumy (in the second of his three TZ appearances, before he gained fame as Lost in Space’s Will Robinson), appears to be a normal kid. Well, guess what? He’s ANYTHING but normal. He has mental abilities that border on the godlike. As Serling tells us, he wished away the entire world, except for his hometown of Peaksville, Ohio. He can create hideous creatures (a three-headed gopher, for example) or transform people into…. well, other things. He can also read minds, so you’re never really safe.

The performances, particularly those of John Larch (the psychiatrist in season one’s “Perchance to Dream”) and Don Keefer as the unfortunate Dan Hollis, are uniformly excellent. This is a collective of people who live moment-to-moment in a prolonged state of teeth-clenching fear. At any moment, they might say or do (or think) the wrong thing, thereby incurring Anthony’s devastating wrath. It’s like the denizens of Orwell’s 1984, trying not to commit thoughtcrime, teetering ever closer to the bleeding edge. These folks are borderline hysterical, every waking moment. We can only assume Anthony can’t read their dreams, or perhaps they’ve trained themselves to dream only happy, safe dreams.

I like the suspended-terror aspect of this episode. Nothing really changes or gets resolved… we merely spend 25 minutes in this horrific world. There’s no comeuppance for Anthony, and no relief for his victims. There are no character arcs to speak of (unless you count Dan Hollis’s drunken standoff with Anthony, which we presume has been building for years)… funny, I complained about this sort of static storytelling approach with regards to last season’s “The Odyssey of Flight 33,” but here I’m not complaining at all. The only event that could really shake things up would be for one of the adults to, in the words of Dan Hollis, “lay something heavy across (Anthony’s) skull.” But then you’ve got a child getting bludgeoned to death on national TV (in 1961!), so I can kinda see why they didn’t go that route.

But don’t get the wrong idea ---- this episode certainly isn’t soft or sanitized, particularly when you start thinking about bigger-picture issues. Anthony doesn’t just separate the townsfolk from the rest of society… he basically uncreates THE ENTIRE FUCKING WORLD. Real life is precarious enough (random acts of violence, catastrophic so-called acts of God, etc) but here we have a planet with billions of inhabitants suddenly blasted into nonexistence with a simple thought from a child’s mind? Every evolutionary leap forward, every advance in technology… gone in a microsecond. It kinda renders everything --- and I mean EVERYTHING --- pretty moot, doesn’t it? This is either chaos theory on steroids or a universe ruled by a malevolent deity. Along those lines…. could Anthony Fremont be from the Q Continuum? Wait, wrong show.

A MOIST MOMENT

During Dan Hollis's ill-fated confrontation with Anthony, a very noticeable tendril of drool escapes from his mouth. This is either great acting or an embarrassing mistake. Either way, slobber on, Big Dan!

REMAKES, SEQUELS AND PARODIES. OH, AND COMIC STRIPS!

Jeremy Licht (whoever that is) as 1983's Anthony. Yeah, whatever.

“It’s a Good Life,” along with three other TZ episodes, was remade as part of 1983’s Twilight Zone: The Movie. It, well… wasn’t pretty (only season five’s “Nightmare at 20,000 Feet” was treated well in that particular enterprise). Don’t get me wrong… the film isn’t as bad as, say, the 2002-2003 UPN series… it’s just misguided. The sensibilities are off somehow. It feels more like a feature-length episode of Steven Spielberg’s Amazing Stories than The Twilight Zone that we know and love. Oh, and speaking of the UPN series….

A sequel (“It’s Still a Good Life”) was produced in 2003 for the UPN series, starring Bill Mumy and Cloris Leachman reprising their roles from the 1961 original. It’s actually not a bad effort, and it’s nice to drop in on these poor unfortunate souls once again. Anthony is a middle-aged adult, and he’s raising a daughter (guess he wished his wife away at some point… you know, speaking of that, I kinda wish ---- wait, honey, put down that frying pan!). Minor spoiler alert: this new story isn’t static at all. Things change dramatically for all concerned. It makes a nice bookend to the original. Watch 'em back to back.... I will be, as I view the original tonight, on it's 50th anniversary.

Calvin & Hobbes fans will likely enjoy the following gem, which draws a pretty convincing parallel between Anthony and the rambunctious Calvin. It's not an actual C&H work by strip creator Bill Watterson, but it's great nevertheless. Click on it to see it full size:

And of course, who can forget the nod to "It's a Good Life" on The Simpsons? The parody was part of the third season's Treehouse of Horror II episode. Bart Simpson as Anthony? Yeah, I can kinda see it.

THE MUSIC

The music in “It's a Good Life” is sourced from Bernard Herrmann’s score for the CBS Radio Workshop’s 1956 adaptation of Aldous Huxley’s “Brave New World.” This score (like much of Herrmann’s radio work) was subsequently added to the CBS Music Library, and its various cues found their way into several TZ episodes. The score was released on vinyl in the early 80s by Cerberus Records (Bernard Herrmann: Music for Radio and Television), and on CD in 2003 by Prometheus (Bernard Herrmann: The CBS Years Volume 2: American Gothic).

Next week: What did the Jew say to the Nazi? “Payback’s a bitch.” Okay, bad joke… but GREAT episode. Don’t miss it.

Halloween 2011...

2011-10-31T12:11:00.001-07:00

I had grand plans for a TZ costume this year. Last year's Doctor Bernardi (from "Eye of the Beholder") turned out great, so I wanted to top it. Long story short --- I was gonna be a freakin' Kanamit. Platform boots, bulbous headpiece, the whole thing. My unfortunate procrastinative tendencies sabotaged me, however, and the costume never materialized. So... I'll probably just throw on the surgical scrubs and stethoscope from last year's costume, maybe splatter it with blood, and call it good.

Next year, though... mark my words. I'll be a Kanamit if it kills me.

Meanwhile, enjoy this great pumpkin from our old friend Kyler. Happy Halloween, fellow Zoneheads.... let's keep it scary out there.

TZ Promo: “The Grave" (10/27/1961)

2011-10-27T07:11:00.000-07:00

Season 3, Episode 7 (#72 overall)
Cayuga Production # 173-3656

After the horrible “The Mirror,” Twilight Zone fans were happily treated to a solid month of excellent episodes. 50 years ago tonight, viewers were offered a good old fashioned ghost story, the first time the series ever offered such a tale. It’s hard to believe it took this long, especially for a show so steeped in the supernatural. We’ve certainly encountered our share of dead folks over the past 71 episodes, but I’m hesitant to label any of them as true ghosts. Tonight, we meet our first true Twilight Zone ghost.

“The Grave” is the second of three third season episodes both written and directed by Montgomery Pittman. The setting is the Old West, but not the brightly lit Old West depicted in the countless western shows that ruled the airwaves in the early 60’s. Here it’s dark and cold, swept by a constant wind, relentlessly ominous. Perfect for a ghost story, wouldn’t you say?

Pinto Sykes is a notorious outlaw and general ne’er-do-well who has successfully evaded bounty hunter Connie Miller (a brooding Lee Marvin), who may or may not be intentionally dragging his feet in the chase due to cowardice. The townsmen, tired of waiting for Miller to do the deed, surround Sykes in the street and gun him down. On his deathbed, Sykes promises that, if Miller ever comes near his grave, he’ll “reach up and grab him.” Miller arrives after Sykes expires, and finds his honor in serious question. To redeem himself, he must visit Sykes’ newly-dug grave.

James Best co-stars as a jittery guitar-strumming local whom Connie bullies. Best, who will also appear in the upcoming “The Last Rites of Jeff Myrtlebank,” as well as season four’s wonderful “Jess-Belle,” is best known as Roscoe P. Coltrane, one of Boss Hogg’s bumbling deputies, on TV’s The Dukes of Hazzard. It’s really too bad…. in his three TZ outings, Best displays a talent far above such teledrivel.

The production number (173-3656) indicates that this episode was actually produced during the show’s second season, but held back until the third (the same is true of “Nothing in the Dark,” which we’ll get to in January). In his The Twilight Zone: Unlocking the Door to a Television Classic, Martin Grams Jr. reports that “The Grave” was originally intended to open the third season, but was pushed back to coincide with Halloween (interestingly, the episode chosen to replace it as the third season opener, “Two” was also written and directed by Montgomery Pittman). The opening shot of act one does not feature the usual season three title cards (episode title, writer, director): we simply open on a long shot of Lee Marvin riding up to the saloon on his horse (the title shot at the top of this entry is from the episode’s end credits; the only place the episode title was ever seen during season two).

Next week: Anthony Fremont is just an innocent little boy… right?

TZ Promo: "The Mirror" (10/20/1961)

2011-10-20T07:01:00.000-07:00

Season 3, Episode 6 (#71 overall)
Cayuga Production # 4819

Two weeks ago, I rhapsodized about the joys of discovering new favorite TZ episodes, formerly ignored gems that I find myself loving now that I’m revisiting them. Tonight we celebrate the 50th anniversary of an episode that, despite viewing it through more mature eyes... well, I just can’t bring myself to give a shit about.

That overwhelming sense of ennui you feel.... I feel it too, General.

Written by Rod Serling and directed by Don Medford, “The Mirror” concerns Ramos Clemente, a peasant in an unnamed Central American country who leads a rebellion against the incumbent dictatorship and seizes power. In addition to the new spoils of leadership, Clemente inherits a magic mirror that reveals the faces of those plotting to kill him. Predictably, he goes batshit crazy with paranoia and starts killing everyone around him. Spoiler alert: he finally sees his own reflection and kills himself.

Peter Falk has his Orpheus moment.

Aside from the thin plot and predictable outcome, there’s something absolutely malevolent going on here. The final line, uttered by a priest, seems to imply that there’s some important lesson to learn here, something along the lines of “your worst enemy is always yourself.” So if this supernatural mirror’s purpose is to impart that nugget of wisdom, then why the hell do so many innocent people have to die in the process? In the throes of all-consuming fear, Clemente is having citizens executed ‘round the clock. If he is indeed evil (and we have no reason to think he was, prior to taking power), then why doesn't the mirror simply show him his own reflection at the outset? This is one seriously evil mirror, or one seriously misguided writer (yes, Rod, I’m talking to you); either way, “The Mirror” leaves a seriously bad taste in my mouth. Season one’s “Time Enough at Last” also gave me serious pause, but at least that episode had some good qualities (set design, etc). This so-called effort has nothing of value to offer.

The normally-loveable Peter Falk plays Clemente like a third-rate Fidel Castro cartoon caricature. It’s not pleasant to watch… not that a great performance would’ve saved this dreck. Season 3 will unfortunately have several low points… this is the first of them.

Next week: Just in time for Halloween, a genuinely scary episode featuring… Roscoe P. Coltrane?????

TZ Promo: "A Game of Pool" (10/13/1961)

2011-10-13T05:41:00.000-07:00

Season 3, Episode 5 (#70 overall)

Cayuga Production #4815

50 years ago tonight, a little David took on a big Goliath. The weapon of choice wasn’t a slingshot, however. It was a pool cue.

“A Game of Pool,” written by George Clayton Johnson and directed by Buzz Kulik, tells the tale of a skilled but relatively unknown pool player named Jesse Cardiff, who longs to be the best at the game. He’s streetwise and cocky, a bit full of himself, hungry for fame and glory. Late one night, alone in a pool hall, he loudly challenges deceased pool great Fats Brown to a game. Jesse’s just shooting off his mouth, of course, and you can’t really challenge the dead… but this is The Twilight Zone. Fats Brown materializes before his eyes, and the game is on.

The game itself is a tense, well-staged roller coaster, infused with great character moments (Jesse describes all the life pleasures he’s eschewed in order to focus on the game; Fats, meanwhile, names off all the life pleasures he valued over the game; it’s a nice juxtaposition of priorities). When Jesse takes that final life-or-death shot, it’s one of those wonderful edge-of-your-seat moments. You like Jesse, and you want him to win despite his obvious hubris issue, but since it’s The Twilight Zone, a happy ending isn’t always guaranteed (I’m looking at you, “Time Enough at Last”) . Further, happy endings aren’t always what they’re cracked up to be (that’s you, “A Nice Place to Visit”). There, that’s as close to a spoiler as you’re gonna get outta me this week.

It’s no surprise that Klugman shines here; in his youth, he excelled in this type of “downtrodden-but-scrappy” role. What IS a surprise is the nice-guy-tinged-with-menace performance turned in by Jonathan Winters as Fats Brown (yes, THAT Jonathan Winters, the guy who played the giant baby on TV’s Mork & Mindy). You might expect some goofy cheese, but this Winters portrait is the real deal: terse and serious, not to mention downright scary when he first appears. The two actors play off one another beautifully. This is a perfect episode, perfectly executed, and it’s right at home in my top ten favorites list.

REMAKES, REMAKES, REMAKES!

“A Game of Pool” was remade during the 80’s Twilight Zone revival series on CBS. This time, Johnson’s original ending was used, in which the outcome is reversed from what we see in the original episode. The remake features Esai Morales and Maury Chaykin in the Klugman and Winters roles, and is actually fairly effective (as far as remakes go).

Curiously, Johnson himself directed his own production a couple of years ago, also utilizing his original ending (I saw it here, but I'm not sure the link still works). I hate to say it, but it’s a wasted effort. Here are my thoughts, originally posted over at The Twilight Zone Café on 10/27/2009:

“I watched it today. Unfortunately, it doesn't touch the original (for that matter, the 80s remake is superior too) IMHO. I didn't care much for the actor playing Jesse (he seems a bit old for the part, and he tends to rush through critical sections of dialogue early on), but the actor playing Fats (well, Duke here) is suitably ominous. I can't decide if I like the underscore or not... it seems too modern for the material. And the pool sound effects don't mesh well with the soundtrack. I think my single biggest complaint, though, is the complete lack of actual pool footage! Film is a VISUAL medium. We need to see the damned balls, especially when a specific shot is referenced in the dialogue. All in all, it just seems unnecessary to me. Between the original and 80's versions, both endings are covered. What's the point?”

So... there ya go. Don't let my low opinion stop you from checking it out.

“A Game of Pool” was also performed live right here in Portland back in 1995 (retitled “The Pool Player” for some unknown reason) as part of Tales from The Twilight Zone, a stage adaption of three episodes. As I recall, the players simply described the shots as they took them, which I guess worked well enough (I don’t remember if they used sound effects or not). If I found myself mounting a stage production of this particular episode (hey, never say never), I’d have my actors fake the shots and employ a simple laptop/projector setup (we use ‘em here at work for training purposes) to display pre-filmed footage of each shot. I guess that would make it a multimedia show of sorts. Cool.

Next week: Columbo + Castro = Crappy episode. Ugh.

TZ car CD (October 2011)

2011-10-12T19:25:00.000-07:00

I’ve mentioned a couple of times lately that I keep a homemade Twilight Zone soundtrack CD in my car at all times. I redo it a few times per year, changing the lineup each time. I just finished the latest incarnation yesterday, so I thought I’d share the contents. I’ll probably post the tracks for future revisions as they occur.

01. The Lonely (selections) (Bernard Herrmann) (08:36)

Twilight Zone theme (first revision)
Intro
The Waiting
Alicia
Eleven Months
The Stars
Finale

02. The Big Tall Wish (Jerry Goldsmith) (11:56)

03. The Outer Space Suite: Prelude (Bernard Herrmann) (3:55)
04. The Outer Space Suite: Space Drift (Bernard Herrmann) (3:18)
05. The Outer Space Suite: Time Suspense (Bernard Herrmann) (4:27)
06. The Outer Space Suite: Starlight (Bernard Herrmann) (2:55)
07. The Outer Space Suite: Moonscape (Bernard Herrmann) (2:30)
08. The Outer Space Suite: Tycho (Bernard Herrmann) (2:03)

09. Two (Leonard Rosenman) (12:13)

10. The Passersby (Fred Steiner) (13:02)

11. Walking Distance (Bernard Herrmann) (12:32)

12. Where Is Everybody? (Finale; edit)/End Title Theme (Bernard Herrmann) (01:42)

Herrmann's Outer Space Suite is one of several he composed for the CBS Music Library, which provided the stock music for all TZ episodes lacking an original score. Several of the Outer Space cues were used quite extensively on the show.

*Sigh* That reminds me... I've gotta start working on my epic (okay, maybe not quite epic) spotlight of the show's musical identity. I meant to do it over the summer, but... well, you know, I got sidetracked. I need to at least spotlight Bernard Herrmann soon, before the end of the year (he turned 100 in June).

TZ Promo: "The Passersby" (10/06/1961)

2011-10-06T06:09:00.000-07:00

Season 3, Episode 4 (#69 overall)
Cayuga Production # 4817

I first discovered The Twilight Zone in middle school, at the tender of age of 13, and by the age of 21, I’d seen every single episode at least once. Some episodes I’ve seen dozens of times over the two decades since, but there are others that I haven’t seen in 20 years or more. When I started this 5-year celebration of the series’ 50th anniversary, one of the things that excited me was the prospect of seeing those lesser-viewed episodes with older eyes. Perhaps I’d discover a gem that I’d foolishly shunned in my youth. This possibility, frankly, excited me more than simply rewatching episodes that I already knew by heart.

It’s happened. I've discovered that hidden gem.

I saw “The Passersby” once and only once, back in high school when I home-videotaped most of the series. In my teenage estimation, the episode was boring and slow. Worse, the “surprise” ending was obvious from the beginning. I chalked it up as one of Serling’s missteps, certainly not as offensive as “Mr. Bevis” or “Mr. Dingle, the Strong,” but a stinker nonetheless. I might have never watched it again, were I not endeavoring to watch every episode on its 50th birthday.

I’m not a religious man, but thank god this wasn’t the case. “The Passersby” is truly remarkable, and the next time I revise my favorites list, it will most definitely be added.

Written by Rod Serling and directed by Elliot Silverstein, “The Passersby” takes place in the aftermath of The Civil War. A woman, Lavinia Godwin, sits on the porch of her house, which is in an advanced state of disrepair. She watches an endless stream of soldiers from both sides of the conflict lumber past in a smoky haze. One of them stops and asks for water. They talk. He plays his battered guitar.

A few other men stop by, including Lavinia's lost (and presumed killed) husband. Each interaction contributes to a dawning realization that all of them are in fact dead. Lavinia refuses to believe it, despite the mounting evidence. The stream of bodies dries up, save for one final passerby: Abraham Lincoln himself, newly assassinated, who stops to comfort her.

I normally eschew this level of spoilery, but the truth is pretty apparent from the opening moments. The soldiers, bathed in fog, are clearly the walking dead, and we're given several clues that support this truth. It does seem to take the main players a long time to deduce the obvious, but personally, I don’t think the ultimate truth is the point of the story. What we’re seeing is a meditation on the mind’s hesitation to accept a fundamental shift in the very nature of its existence. Wouldn't we need a lot of convincing, were this happening to us? We see this reluctance to let go of earthly reality at the core of the brilliant and visceral 1990 film Jacob's Ladder (a favorite of mine). Here in the Zone, season one’s “The Hitch-hiker” explored this same concept, as will the upcoming “Nothing in the Dark," but neither achieves the haunting grandeur of “The Passersby.” You can't argue with the episode's production design, either.... it's just damned gorgeous to look at.

Marc Scott Zicree, in his Twilight Zone Companion, dismisses “The Passersby” as “one of the weakest episodes of the first three seasons.” What a numbskull.

"The Passersby" features what must be the most beautiful closing shot in the entire series. Lavinia races down the fog-shrouded road to catch up with her deceased husband. Lincoln slowly follows. No more casualties of The Civil War shall pass here. Absolutely breathtaking.

THE MUSIC

“The Passersby” features one of the greatest original scores ever composed for The Twilight Zone. Fred Steiner’s music (heavy on the violins and harp) is beautiful and somber, mournful but ultimately hopeful. It rises slowly, almost liquidly (is that a word? It should be), growing in intensity like waves on a restless sea. It perfectly underlines the languid pace of the episode and, on its own, divorced from the visuals, is a moving and haunting listening experience.

Steiner's score has been made available many times. It was first released on vinyl in 1985 by Varese Sarabande (The Twilight Zone: The Original Television Scores, Volume 5). Varese Sarabande only released CD versions of their five LPs in Japan; in the US, they released two “Best of” CD compilations in 1990 (“The Passersby” was included on the second volume), which are both out of print. The score appeared on domestic CD again as part of Silva’s Twilight Zone 40th Anniversary boxed set in 1999, which is now out of print. I just checked iTunes, and it's not there. So the only way to get it is to buy either the Season 3 Definitive Edition DVD or the more recent blu-ray edition (both from Image Entertainment), both of which feature the score isolated on alternate music-only tracks. I happen to own all of the above items, so I’m planning on listening to the score tonight before I watch the episode… on vinyl, in a darkened room. Maybe with a glass of wine, or perhaps scotch.

A few weeks back, I mentioned that I keep a CD-R of favorite TZ music in my car at all times, and that I frequently revise it. I've been doing this for several years, and “The Passersby” has never once been rotated out.

REMAKES, KINDA SORTA

The 2001 film The Others (starring Nicole Kidman) seems to be a semi-remake of this episode (though it takes place in the aftermath of WWII, not the Civil War). It's a great film (it was recently released on blu-ray... I need to pick it up). The 2002-2003 UPN Twilight Zone revival spawned a semi-remake called “Homecoming,” which moved the action into the present, during the War in Iraq (I can’t comment on it, since I’ve never seen it, but what I have seen of the UPN series leaves me less than optimistic).

RANDOM HILARITY
16 minutes and 10 seconds into the episode, a fly lands on James Gregory’s right suspender strap and nonchalantly crawls down his torso. I guess the little guy died in The Civil War too. I'm imagining a prequel story in which the fly is Gregory's ersatz Jiminy Cricket, keeping him on the straight and narrow while he navigates his way through the horrors of war.... hey, it couldn't be worse than George Lucas's ill-conceived prequels, right?

This is the kind of stuff you can’t get with VHS or DVD, folks. Only the pristine clarity of high definition can reveal delightful little details like this. Invest in the blu-rays. C'mon, take the damn plunge already. I’m gonna keep harping on you till you do.

Next week: TZ veteran Jack Klugman challenges Jonathan Winters to a deadly game of… pool?

TZ Promo: "The Shelter" (9/29/1961)

2011-09-29T06:11:00.000-07:00

Season 3, Episode 3 (#68 overall)
Cayuga Production # 4803

Fifty years ago tonight, a jolly (i.e. alcohol-fueled) birthday party was interrupted by an emergency radio announcement: unidentified objects, presumably enemy missiles, have been spotted heading toward the US. Sheesh, talk about a buzzkill.

“The Shelter,” written by Rod Serling and directed by Lamont Johnson, has all the hallmarks of a classic Serling script: crisis (the possibility of a nuclear attack), moral dilemma (only one family on the block has a bomb shelter), and a preachy indictment of man’s tendency to act badly in the face of adversity (the rest of the neighborhood wants access to the bomb shelter, and isn’t interested in taking no for an answer). What’s missing? Well, there’s virtually zero supernatural or fantasy trappings (in fact, this is the third straight TZ episode that lacks an overt divergence from reality), but that’s not an automatic deal breaker.

What is a deal breaker, however, is the fact that Serling already told this same story, back in season one’s “The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street.” The unseen menace there was a presumed alien invasion, but the basic story --- in which neighbors turn on one another --- is essentially the same. As with last week’s “The Arrival,” Serling’s idea well seems to have run dry, so he’s pilfering earlier episodes for ideas. It’s a disappointing trend that will continue throughout the rest of the series. Great, even brilliant Serling-penned episodes are still to come, but consistent quality is no longer guaranteed. The glory days of the first two seasons are clearly over.

Having said all of that, “The Shelter” is by no means terrible. It’s just… stale. Predictable. Maybe it was more shocking and relevant in 1961, given the political climate. My mom remembers lying awake at night when she was young, scared half out of her mind that Russia could launch its missiles at any time. Even as late as my own childhood in the 70’s and early 80’s, all-out nuclear war was a real and vivid possibility. Remember that 80’s TV movie The Day After? I was in 7th grade when it aired, and let me tell ya, that thing scared the shit out of me. Fast forward 30 years: how often does the concept of World War III even cross our minds? The world is a different place now. My kids, who are now transitioning into adulthood, have never lived in fear of a nuclear holocaust. The more plausible threat to their way of life? A complete economic collapse, followed by worldwide Chinese rule.

“The Shelter” sports two familiar TZ faces: Sandy Kenyon (who we last saw in season two’s “The Odyssey of Flight 33,” and who we’ll see again in season four’s “Valley of the Shadow”) and Jack Albertson (who will appear --- and reappear --- as the titular genie in season four’s “I Dream of Genie”). Albertson is better known as Grandpa Joe in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, not to mention “The Man” himself on TV’s Chico and the Man.

THE MUSIC

“The Shelter” does not feature an original musical score; rather, existing cues were selected by the series’ musical director Lud Gluskin from the vast CBS Music Library (this practice is commonly referred to as “stock scoring”). Most stock-scored episodes feature cues by various composers from various sources; however, almost every cue heard in “The Shelter” was composed by Robert Drasnin from a suite called, simply, “Serling.”

Drasnin in 1998.

Drasnin is also responsible for one of my all-time favorite exotica LPs, 1959’s Voodoo: Exotic Music from Polynesia and the Far East (he recorded a follow up in 2007, Voodoo II, which is equally wonderful). Drasnin isn’t typically named among exotica luminaries like Les Baxter and Martin Denny, presumably because of his relatively slim contribution to the genre, but what he did give us is simply marvelous. As of this writing, only the first Voodoo volume is available on iTunes, but both are readily available from Amazon.com. I highly recommend both of 'em. For more information on Mr. Drasnin, go here.

AH, MEMORIES

Flashback to 1983: my 7th grade literature teacher, Mike Nygren, gave us an intriguing assignment: create a radio play based on an existing literary work. Having recently discovered The Twilight Zone, I immediately hit upon the idea of adapting an episode. I hadn’t seen “The Shelter” at that point, but I had read Serling’s short story version in his New Stories from The Twilight Zone paperback. The dialogue-heavy story seemed well suited to radio, so I condensed the story into a ten-minute script. My group for the assignment consisted of myself and my friends Donovan Littlejohn and Ignacio Palacios (both of whom I'm still in touch with). We recorded the script using my old Radio Shack tape recorder, and we even included Marius Constant's classic TZ theme (taped directly from a syndication airing on KPTV-12; I tape recorded many episodes before my parents finally gave in to my impassioned pleas and bought a VCR). We got an A for our efforts, as I recall. Damn, I’d love to hear that recording again. I don’t recall if Mr. Nygren kept it, or if maybe I ended up with it afterwards, but either way, I’m pretty sure that cassette is deep inside a landfill by now. Shame. If by some crazy twist of fate I find it, I'll upload it for your listening pleasure (torture?).

Next week: Scarlet O’Hara meets Nicole Kidman. Don’t worry, it’ll make more sense in context.

TZ Promo: "The Arrival" (9/22/1961)

2011-09-22T06:56:00.000-07:00

Season 3, Episode 2 (#67 overall)
Cayuga Production # 4814

If you see an airplane on The Twilight Zone, something bad --- or at least, something strange --- is probably about to happen. We’ve already seen two planes get lost in time (“The Last Flight” and “The Odyssey of Flight 33”), one crash land in the desert (“King Nine Will Not Return”) and another one explode on takeoff (“Twenty Two”). And goodness, don’t even get me started on spaceships (if you’re on The Twilight Zone, and you take off in one, just know that you’re basically screwed). 50 years ago tonight, the so-called “friendly skies” remained decidedly unfriendly as a commercial airliner landed precisely on schedule… with its crew and passengers conspicuously absent.

“The Arrival,” written by Rod Serling and directed by Boris Sagal, promises to be a great supernatural mystery. Where are the passengers? More importantly, where’s the goddamned crew? And by the way, who the hell landed this thing? Things get even stranger when nobody --- families, friends, what have you --- inquires about the missing passengers. Things get stranger still when the investigators come to realize that something is iffy with the plane itself: each of them is seeing a different serial number on it. They’re all in the same hanger, but they seem to be examining different planes. What the hell is happening here? Mass hypnosis? A warp in the very fabric of space? Overlapping alternate realities? A gradual disintegration of the space-time continuum?

It’s a mystery that seems too inexplicable, too bizarre to properly resolve. And so it is, sadly enough. The resolution… well, doesn’t really resolve anything, unless you find the retrograde hallucination angle satisfactory. For the record, I don’t. This is exactly how “King Nine Will Not Return” explained its unexplainable mystery last season, and I was willing to accept it. Not this time, Rod. This is just lazy, and frankly a bit insulting. “The Arrival” is the exact point --- not even two calendar years after its brilliant debut --- at which The Twilight Zone begins to blatantly cannibalize itself.

Next week: It sounds like a repeat of “The Monsters are Due on Maple Street”… but it’s not. Another set of neighbors turns unneighborly, but this time the motivating threat is nuclear annihilation instead of invading aliens. If there’s a TV in your bomb shelter, tune in.

TZ Promo: “Two” (9/15/1961)

2011-09-15T07:15:00.000-07:00

Season 3, Episode 1 (#66 overall)
Cayuga Production # 4802

Fifty years ago tonight, The Twilight Zone returned for its third season. In keeping with tradition, the season premiere features a solitary figure wandering around trying to make sense of the environment they find themselves in. This time, however, our solitary figure is a woman. And as she quickly discovers, she’s not so solitary after all.

“Two,” written and directed by Montgomery Pittman, stars the lovely Elizabeth Montgomery (of Bewitched fame) as a nameless military officer of indeterminate rank, exploring the ruins of a bombed-out city, scrounging for food. The script never specifies, but we’re given sufficient clues to deduce that she’s from the invading army, and that said army is Russian. Serling remarks that “the signposts are in English so that we may read them more easily,” but what else would they be? The city is pretty obviously American. The episode premiered in 1961, when the cold war was in full swing, so our fictional enemies are pretty clearly intended to represent the US and the USSR. The intent is made doubly clear when the woman finally speaks, and her language is… you guessed it, Russian.

Speaking English, meanwhile, is another unnamed soldier, this one played by Charles Bronson (of big 70’s mustache fame), and he speaks plenty. He’s a pacifist, he’s weary of all the fighting, and he’s a member of the presumably defeated (American) side. Actually, maybe neither side won. Serling tells us that “it’s been five years since a human being walked these streets,” and that “this is the first day of the sixth year, as man used to measure time.” Sounds like worldwide destruction to me. For all we know, these two are the last two surviving people on the whole planet. Serling confirms this in the “next week on The Twilight Zone” promo that aired (or maybe didn’t, see below) the week before this episode premiered, in which he states that the couple in question are “left alone on an otherwise uninhabited earth.”

Which begs the question: Is this that hoary old Adam and Eve parable, rearing its clichéd head? Well, sure, why not? A clichéd story works if it’s told well. TZ will crack this particular literary chestnut again in season 5, but less effectively (and more obviously). Yes, I’m talking to you, “Probe 7, Over and Out.”

You thinkin' what I'm thinkin', baby? Furlough Romance, indeed.

As it stands, “Two” is a pretty good, but not necessarily great, Twilight Zone offering. There’s really no supernatural or science fiction element to it (except the nuclear war aftermath angle, which is pretty thin, but we’re also witnessing future events, so maybe the two combined is enough to push it past the reality line…? I dunno), but the conflicted tension between the characters is engaging. Oh, and Liz Montgomery is a tasty morsel, even under all that grime. She --- along with the rest of the episode --- looks stunning in high-def. Bronson is fine in his role, but Montgomery walks off with the whole damn episode, and she only has a single word of dialogue. Alternatively childlike and deadly, she's miles away from the perky domestic Bewitch she's remembered best for (coincidentally, we've already seen a similar mime-centric performance in season two's "The Invaders" from Agnes Moorehead, who played Montgomery's mother on Bewitched).

Precrassny. *Sigh*

THE MUSIC

Nathan Van Cleave contributes original music, moody and a bit melodramatic, with effective militaristic touches via the trumpet and tympani. It’s one of my favorite TZ scores, and was first released on Varese Sarabande’s The Twilight Zone: The Original Television Scores, Volume 4 LP (and CD in Japan), and later appeared on Silva’s The Twilight Zone 40th Anniversary 4-CD set. The score is also presented in isolated form (on an alternate audio track) on Image Entertainment’s The Twilight Zone, Season 2: The Definitive Edition DVD, as well as the more recent blu-ray edition, for your listening pleasure.

I keep a CD-R of my favorite TZ scores in the car at all times. I usually revise it a couple of times per year, adding and subtracting stuff depending on my ever-changing musical whims. However, Van Cleave’s “Two” never gets rotated out, along with Bernard Herrmann’s “Walking Distance” and Fred Steiner’s “The Passersby.”

RANDOM HILARITY

Early on in the episode, Montgomery's character explores an abandoned restaurant. She discovers a lone can of "Forever Seal" pre-cooked chicken drumsticks. As she pulls it from the shelf, she spies a painfully fake tarantula on a nearby counter. With minimal reaction, she slams the can down on it. This strikes me as a bit odd... after six years of isolation, I'd probably be keeping that thing as a pet.

Splat!

THAT PROMO SHOULDN’T EXIST, BUT IT DOES…

Each Twilight Zone episode ends with a brief clip in which Rod Serling plugs the following week’s show, just a quick glance at what’s coming up next (I mimic this approach to an extant here in my episode spotlights; the Serling shots I use come from said promos). The promos were (presumably) omitted entirely during the summertime, since the episodes were never reran in the same order that they were originally aired (this is also why the promos aren’t included in syndication packages). This omission extended to repeats aired in mid-season; if a repeat was shown, there would typically be no promo for the new episode that would follow it. This included season premieres; however, Image Entertainment’s blu-ray of season three includes a promo for “Two” as a supplemental feature. Since “Two” was the season premiere, and was therefore preceded by a repeat, how can this be?

I can only speculate, but it’s probable that Cayuga had commenced production on season 3 with no clear idea which episode would open it. Therefore, they would’ve shot promos for every episode, “Two” included. The promo’s inclusion on the blu-ray in no way implies that it was ever actually aired, since it was preceded by the repeat of season one’s “A World of His Own”… but who knows? It’s nice to have either way. Thanks to Scott Stevenson for bringing this to my attention in time for this entry!

As long as we’re talking about promos, one (obviously) didn’t exist for the pilot episode “Where Is Everybody?” back in 1959. When it was repeated directly after the season two closer “The Obsolete Man” in 1961, a new promo was shot. To my knowledge, it was the only episode to be graced with a promo after the fact. This promo appears on Image Entertainment’s season two blu-ray.

Another promo tidbit: although not present on Image Entertainment’s blu-ray for season five, a promo for “In Praise of Pip” (that season’s premiere) is discussed at length in Martin Grams Jr,’s The Twilight Zone: Unlocking the Door to a Television Classic (turn to page 606, students), and it sounds like it was definitely aired (with a repeat of season four’s “The Thirty Fathom Grave”). So maybe I’m completely wrong, and promos were in fact shot AND AIRED for season two’s premiere “King Nine Will Not Return,” season four’s premiere “In His Image,” and yes, season three’s “Two.” For all I know, the promos were aired all throughout the repeat seasons too, and everything I said three paragraphs up is completely wrong. Hell, I dunno. Thanks again to Scott Stevenson, for challenging my notions and making my head hurt.

Next week: A commercial airliner lands on schedule, with one big problem: it’s completely empty. Whaaaaaaat?

TZ Spotlight: Season 3 Opening Sequence (1961-1962)

2011-09-14T08:28:00.000-07:00

The third season of The Twilight Zone premiered on September 15, 1961, and with it came a brand new opening title sequence. The theme music by Marius Constant remained the same (until late into the season, when a decidedly different rendition would appear... but we'll get there in time), and Rod Serling's opening narration was only minimally revised. Season three's opening sequence, designed by Pacific Title (thanks to fellow fan --- and fellow Portland native --- Joel Henderson for this tidbit of info), is the simplest of the entire series. It's literally one single object --- a spinning top of sorts ---spinning away from camera, off into space. And yet, in its simplicity, it manages to evoke a surreal, almost trancelike vibe.

The spinning spiral, by the way, was not new to The Twilight Zone. We saw it way back in season one's "Perchance to Dream," framed by a dreamlike fog. Coincidence? Perhaps.

Okay, let's break it down. Cue the music.

You're traveling through another dimension...

A dimension not only of sight and sound...

...but of mind.

A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination.

Your next stop---

The Twilight Zone!

Here it is in full-motion glory, down-rezzed into a fuzzy mess by Blogger...

That distinctive spiral appears on the covers both the DVD and blu-ray editions of season three from Image Entertainment.

Blu Bliss

2011-09-12T12:28:00.000-07:00

I'm a couple of weeks late on this, but I'm happy to report that, as of August 30, my Twilight Zone blu-ray collection is complete.

Five seasons. 156 episodes. It's all here. And so much more. I never imagined that my favorite series of all time would get such a comprehensive release. Are these sets perfect? Of course not... what is? Are they amazing? Hell, yes.

I'm not reviewing them. I'm not really even spotlighting them. I'm simply... basking. Bask with me, fellow fans.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: every TZ fan worth his (or her) salt should own these. The series has never looked or sounded better. The clarity of the series in HD is stunning. If you've got an HD display and a blu-ray player, take the plunge. If you don't.... I can't imagine a better reason to upgrade.

Thank you, Image Entertainment.

Season 5 Blu-ray Reviews are Starting to Appear...

2011-08-25T17:48:00.001-07:00

... and the news ain't good for those of us who obsess over the music. The blu-ray set has 10 more isolated scores than the earlier Definitive Edition DVD, but all of them are stock scores. The five missing original scores remain... well, missing. They are:

"Black Leather Jackets" (Van Cleave)
"From Agnes, With Love" (Van Cleave)
"Queen of the Nile" (Lucien Morawack)
"Caesar and Me" (Richard Shores)
"Mr. Garrity and the Graves" (Tommy Morgan)

I'm particularly disappointed by the omission of the Van Cleave scores, especially the jazzy "Black Leather Jackets." There are a total of 36 episodes in season five, and 21 of them feature isolated music on the blu-ray. This leaves 15, including the five listed above, as MIA. This is dreadful, considering the fact that seasons 3 and 4 had isolated scores for EVERY episode (season 1 was only missing 2, while season 2 was missing 7*). I don't get it. If Image Entertainment accessed the original negatives (as they've widely boasted), then they should've been able to include isolated music for EVERY EPISODE.

Her e's the High-Def Digest review.

Oh, and the wonderful American Masters documentary on Rod Serling seems to be absent.

On a positive note, it sounds like the image and sound quality are on par with the previous four sets. On a WTF note, the horrific Mickey Rooney commentary track is still present for "Last Night of a Jockey." Honestly, man, it's just surreal.

The set comes out next Tuesday (8/30). If I know Amazon, my copy will arrive that day and no earlier. I'm sure I'll be posting some pictures of all five sets, together at last, sometime thereafter.

*4 of the 7 episodes in question were videotaped, so these are understandable. I'm still not sure how they managed to feature isolated music scores for the other 2 videotaped episodes....

Long Live William Shatner

2011-08-20T11:33:00.000-07:00

I follow several comedians via Twitter, and one of my favorites is Patton Oswalt. The other day, he Tweeted the following:

"Don Rickles is only 5 years older than William Shatner. SORRY FOR BLOWING YOUR MIND."

I chuckled to myself, then headed straight over to IMDB to confirm. Rickles was born 5/08/1926, and Shatner was born 3/22/1931. That's actually about six weeks shy of 5 years!

In season one's "Long Live Walter Jameson," aging professor Sam Kittridge laments how he has grown old while his best friend, Walter Jameson, well... hasn't. Jameson's response? "It happens that way sometimes." Spoiler alert: Jameson is immortal.

Both Rickles and Shatner appeared on The Twilight Zone in 1961, so we can easily compare them. First, here's Rickles in "Mr. Dingle, the Strong":

Rickles is 35 here. His thinning hairline suggests a man somewhat older, but... okay, 35. Meanwhile, here's Shatner, age 30, in "Nick of Time":

Good God. He could pass for 20, easy.

Flash forward 50 years. Here's Rickles today:

And here's Shatner today:

"It happens that way sometimes," indeed. Could Shatner outlive us all?

Repeat Report: Summer 1961, Part 2

2011-08-19T20:59:00.000-07:00

The Twilight Zone's repeat schedule for summer 1961 (post-season 2) was 14 weeks in length, and was composed entirely of repeats from the show's first season. We covered the first half here, and we'll cover the second half here. It appears I missed two fairly obvious Forbidden Planet connections in my initial episode promos, so I'll spotlight 'em here. Oh, and make sure to click on the images to see the full-size HD beauty, thanks to Image Entertainment's stunning blu-ray release.

07/28/1961
"Elegy"
(originally broadcast 02/19/1960)

Forbidden Planet alert! Check out the mega-cool "Pac Man" lights, which were originally part of the film's ancient Krell laboratory... we also saw them previously in "People Are Alike All Over," and I wouldn't be surprised at all if they pop up again in the series' run.

08/04/1961

"Mirror Image"
(originally broadcast 02/26/1960)

Damn you, Vera Miles! I'm still waiting for my autographed 8x10...

08/11/1961

"One for the Angels"
(originally broadcast 10/09/1959)

Forbidden Planet alert! There's Robby the Robot, in wind-up toy form, making his first of three Twilight Zone appearances. Note the rather TZesque eyeball sticker on his dome.

08/18/1961

"The Big Tall Wish"
(originally broadcast 04/08/1960)

08/25/1961
"The Chaser"
(originally broadcast 05/13/1960)

09/01/1961

"Nightmare as a Child"
(originally broadcast 04/29/1960)

09/08/1961

"A World of His Own"
(originally broadcast 07/01/1960)

What can I say? I'm kind of a big deal.

Season 3 commences on 9/15 with a haunting tale of a chance encounter between mortal enemies. We'll witness firsthand that the line between love and hate is quite thin indeed. It's "Two" good to miss.

It's Mystical... It's Magical... It's Completely Out of My Price Range (continued)...

2011-08-15T18:26:00.000-07:00

Yesterday's semi-rant (rantette?) about Bif Bang Pow's ultra-awesome (but prohibitively spendy) William Shatner-autographed Mystic Seer got somebody's attention.... none other than Jason Labowitz of Bif Bang Pow! First he Tweeted a link to my blog, then he posted a response on their website:

"It's Mystical.... It's Magical... It's Completely Out Of My Price Range....

Read this review about our new Mystic Seer Signature Edition - We love it!

Thanks to one of our biggest fans, Craig Beam, for not being too harsh on us! Just know that we HAD to make this item, and we had to convince Mr. Shatner to sign it. He's never signed or been involved with any Twilight Zone merchandise before, so this was our big chance. And talk about a dream come true. He came to our booth to meet us. We didn't have to wait in any line to meet him! True story - he said that he wished us well in our "Enterprising" business.

Crack open that piggy bank and pre-order yours today!. Limited to just 150 pieces!"

Note that he totally stole the title of my blog entry for his own evil purposes. Does that entitle me to a free Mystic Seer? I highly doubt it. But don't worry... I won't sue. I suppose my blog will see some additional traffic from the attention, so... thanks... I guess?

Shatner signs one of the 150 limited edition Mystic Seers. *Sigh*

All in jest, folks. Jason and the gang at Bif Bang Pow! are friends of this blog, and I love 'em.

It's Mystical.... It's Magical... It's Completely Out Of My Price Range....

2011-08-14T12:33:00.000-07:00

We've already previewed the soon-to-be-released Mystic Seer Replica here (and which you can pre-order here). I've known about this particular item for quite a while now. What I didn't know (until today) was that those crafty rascals at Bif Bang Pow! are unleashing a variant version, which is ultra-cool....and ultra expensive....

Mystic Seer Replica - Signature Edition
$499.99, pre-order here

It's black and white. It appears to have a nifty spring neckpost, further differentiating it from its full-color cousin. But what makes this item truly desirable is the fact that William Shatner himself has signed it. In fact, he signed 150 of them. He introduced the item at the San Diego Comic Con last month. Here's the writeup from Entertainment Earth:

"Personally introduced at SDCC 2011 by William Shatner, this incredible, super-deluxe reproduction is an authentic, functioning replica of the Mystic Seer featured in the well-known The Twilight Zone episode #43, "Nick of Time," that starred the legendary actor. This exclusive black-and-white Signature Edition version is limited to just 150 numbered pieces and is signed by William Shatner! Complete with napkin holder and menu holder-- just like in the show-- it features a working coin mechanism and can act as a bank. It even dispenses "fortunes"! Meticulously crafted of polystone and steel, the life-size Signature Edition Mystic Seer Replica is a black-and-white replication that measures about 13 1/2-inches tall x 7 1/2-inches wide x 6-inches long and comes with a certificate of authenticity. Can't you just see this in your living room or office?"

Well... yes, yes I can. However.... well, it costs FIVE HUNDRED FUCKING DOLLARS. A staggering price tag. I've owned cars that cost less.

I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that I will never, EVER own this. Even if I had five hundred bucks just laying around, I can't possibly justify spending it on this. I have too many real-world financial obligations. We just bought a new car two days ago. The regular color version costs half as much, and scoring that one was gonna be tough... but this? It's impossible. Kudos to Bif Bang Pow! for making such an awesome collectible, but....

...but nothin'. I'm gonna just pretend it doesn't exist. Damn it.

New TZ action figures available NOW!

2011-08-12T16:35:00.000-07:00

The latest wave of Bif Bang Pow!'s Twilight Zone action figures are now available through Entertainment Earth. As with the earlier waves, the figures are sold in pairs.

Series 4:
Doctor Bernardi ("Eye of the Beholder")
Henry Bemis ("Time Enough at Last")
$37.99, order here

Series 5:
The Venusian ("Will the Real Martian Please Stand Up?")
The Invader ("The Invaders")

$37.99, order here

Six additional action figures are already available for pre-order, even though they aren't due till May of next year!

Series 6:
Clown ("Five Characters in Search of an Exit")
Nurse ("Eye of the Beholder")
$37.99, pre-order here

Series 8:
Henry Corwin as Santa Claus ("The Night of the Meek")
Alicia ("The Lonely")
$37.99, pre-order here

Series 9:
Maya the Cat Girl ("Perchance to Dream")

Alien ("Hocus-Pocus and Frisby")
$37.99, pre-order here

Hey, where's Series 7? Well, it's gotta be the Bob Wilson/Don Carter combo figure, which will be available in November...

Series 7:
Bob Wilson/Don Carter (2011 SDCC Exclusive)
("Nightmare at 20,000 Feet" and "Nick of Time")
$32.99, pre-order here

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: this is a great time to be a Twilight Zone fan. Now to scrape up some cash.....

Bring Me the Head of William Shatner....

2011-08-04T12:08:00.000-07:00

Never mind. It appears I already have it.

Let me back up. A few weeks ago, my new TZ bobbleheads arrived from Bif Bang Pow! (via Entertainment Earth). I haven’t managed to post my reviews yet because, frankly, it’s summer and I’m lazy. I did, however, manage to install the Bob Wilson (William Shatner) bobblehead in its intended display spot: the left bookend for the DVD/blu-ray shelf in the master bedroom.

There it sat for a couple of weeks or so, performing in its new job admirably. And then, a few days ago, disaster struck.

It was one of those split-second events that seem to unfold in slow motion. I was adding a few new titles to the shelf (acquisitions from Barnes & Noble’s recent 50%-off Criterion sale), and I guess I wasn’t careful enough. Poor Shatner slid toward the edge of the shelf, then over, then down to the floor below. His oversized bobbling head separated from his body with a loud crack.

I stared down in horror for a few moments, then gently picked up the pieces. I wondered if perhaps I could simply glue it back together, but the repair line would be obvious, which is unacceptable. Bobblin’ Bob Wilson was a lost cause.

Let me make one thing clear: this disaster in no way reflects the quality of the bobblehead. It’s sturdy and well-made. It’s my own damn clumsy fault that the thing fell seven feet to its untimely demise. Bif Bang Pow! is in no way guilty of shoddy workmanship. Order with confidence here.

Obviously my review will come… well, later. How much later will depend on when I can scrape up the cash to order another one. I did manage to take some pictures when it first arrived, so I could fake a review… but that’s not how I roll, folks. I can say that it’s a marvelous companion piece to last year’s Gremlin bobblehead, and the Shatner likeliness is great.

The mother of all alternate endings. Gremlin wins!

None of that 'the Devil made me do it' crap, you big furball.

My other new TZ bobblehead, Willie and Jerry, remains unscathed... for now. I'll try to get my review up before bad luck strikes again.

Portrait of Genny

2011-08-03T20:15:00.000-07:00

In the 60’s and 70’s, Rod Serling became known less as a writer of meaningful television drama and more as a pitchman. Among the many products and services he promoted was New York’s own Genesee Beer.

Now, I’m something of a beer enthusiast. I’m fortunate to reside in the Pacific Northwest, from which a seemingly endless supply of new and exciting beer perpetually springs forth. In fact, we’ve got a beer store right here in Tualatin, Oregon. That’s right, a beer store. Not a liquor store (well, we have that too). A BEER STORE. Paradise!

Birra Deli carries over 280 local and international beers. It’s been open for a couple of years now, and I just adore the place (in fact, I discovered one of my favorites, Ninkasi Tricerahops Double IPA, thanks to this place). I was browsing their selection recently, and spotted the following:

I immediately made the Serling connection and bought it. How could I not? As both a Serling disciple and a lover of beer, I had a duty to try it.

Y’now, I kinda wish I hadn’t. This stuff blows. Genesee is limp, uninteresting, and it has a strange unpleasant aftertaste (not the usual slight --- or not so slight --- bitterness you’d expect… this is something else). I’d honestly rather drink Budweiser, which I loathe (but will grudgingly drink, if it’s the only thing around).

Now, taken in a historical context, I can cut Genny some slack… the same slack I can cut other old-school piss-poor beers because, quite frankly, there wasn’t much selection forty years ago. The microbrew revolution hadn’t yet begun, and beer palates weren’t as developed as they are now. If all you have is cold piss on a hot day, well, you drink cold piss. It’s easier to crack open a Genny while you’re mowing the lawn than mixing up an Old Fashioned.

Wait --- Guinness was around then, so there WERE decent beers. Well, maybe not in grocery stores. Hell, I dunno.

I imagine it’s more or less a regional thing. It’s been around forever, so New Yorkers probably stand behind it no matter how many superior beers are available (Rainier Beer, a product of Seattle dating back to the 19th century, is probably Genesee’s NW equivalent). I’m actually a bit tickled that Genny found its way this far west, into a territory dominated by dramatically better brews. I guess it’s a bit of a scrapper, so maybe I owe it a bit of respect.

Just a bit. At the end of the day, it still tastes like piss. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to enjoy a nice big bottle (or three) of Ninkasi.

Cool TZ Merchandise: Spoiler Alert T-Shirt!

2011-07-14T13:02:00.001-07:00

Now here's something surprising: a Twilight Zone-themed shirt that doesn't simply riff on the opening titles or graphics. Instead, it reveals --- in a decidedly irreverent manner --- several of the show's surprise endings. I typically try to avoid spoilers in this blog, but I find this shirt too hilarious to ignore.

The picture isn't quite big enough to read clearly, so here's the rundown:

Row 1, left to right:

"He breaks his glasses." (Time Enough at Last)
"There really is something on the wing." (Nightmare at 20,000 Feet)
"There are two aliens, and he's one of the them." (Will the Real Martin Please Stand Up?)

Row 2, left to right:

"It's a cookbook." (To Serve Man)
"Everyone else is ugly." (Eye of the Beholder)
"The pocket watch breaks." (A Kind of a Stopwatch)

Row 3, left to right:

"The masks deform their faces." (The Masks)
"She's a mannequin, too." (The After Hours)
"They're astronauts from Earth." (The Invaders)

I also love the fact that "The Twilight Zone" doesn't actually appear anywhere on the shirt. If you're cool, you'll just know.

You can get yours here.